Glee Season 3: Rewrite
by dizzyizzy123
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Basic plot elements will remain but this is a rewrite of season 3. Read inside for more details.
1. The Purple Piano Project

A/N: So I guess I should what I explain what I mean by a Season 3 Rewrite. I am going to keep the basic plot elements (Rachel and Kurt wanting to get into NYADA, Finn proposing to Rachel, etc) but I am just going to rewrite them better. However, some episodes will be rewritten entirely (like The Spanish Teacher) because I felt they made no sense to the arc. Some original lines might make it in but otherwise, this is all me. Uh...hopefully you like it so let's pretend it's September and you're watching the Season 3 premiere. If you want to PM me and ask why I did things a certain way, go ahead.

* * *

Episode 1: The Purple Piano Project

"Is it on? Are you getting this?" asked Jacob Ben-Israel of his mute cameraman who simply nodded in response. "This year is senior year!" announced Jacob to the camera. "Let's find out what our Lima Losers are planning to do after graduation." Jacob caught sight of Finn Hudson walking blithely down the hall, fresh from schedule pick up at the counselor's office and ran up to him, shoving a microphone obnoxiously into his face.

"So what are your plans for the future?" sneered Jacob. Finn smiled pleasantly, unaware of the barrage of questions that would soon follow.

"Uh, I guess just try to keep my grades good for Ohio State and try to land a football scholarship," said Finn. "Oh, and win Nationals with the Glee Club this year." Jacob scoffed and turned back to the camera. "I forgot to mention that Mr. Finn Hudson here is a mediocre jock and even mediocre singer. Honestly, how many times are you going to use Auto-tune to enhance your lack of a voice this year?"

"Uh..." Finn smiled, unsure of how to respond. "Just looking forward to great year!" he said rather weakly. Jacob harrumphed and walked away, in search of new prey.

* * *

"So what are your plans after graduation?" demanded Jacob of Mike Chang, who was with his girlfriend Tina Cohen-Chang (no relation) and friend Artie Abrams (who funnily enough, was Tina's ex-boyfriend). Mike smiled brightly; he knew the answer to this question. "I'm probably going to Stanford or Harvard," he replied robotically. "My parents haven't decided yet."

"What about you?" asked Jacob of Tina, who was rearranging Mike's shirt collar. Tina jumped slightly. "Oh, I'm a junior," she explained. "Mike's a senior and me and Artie are both juniors."

"Since when?" demanded Jacob. Tina and Artie both gave him the same Are-you-an-idiot? look. "It's like, common knowledge," insisted Tina.

"Not that common if you're just saying it now," snapped back Jacob.

* * *

"Well, we are Broadway bound!" said a confident Rachel Berry. Kurt Hummel waved around some jazz hands. "We're going to be accepted to the most amazing performing arts school in New York City and then go on to the Great White Way!" he bragged.

"So what's the school's name?" asked Jacob. Rachel and Kurt's smiles wavered as they exchanged glances.

"This interview's over!" squeaked Rachel as she and Kurt made a beeline for the college catalogue in Ms. Pillsbury's office.

* * *

"I thought you and Sam Evans formed the good ship Samcedes?" said Jacob as he eyed Mercedes' new squeeze, Shane Tinsley, McKinley's best linebacker.

"Sam and I had a summer fling," explained Mercedes. She blushed slightly at an unspoken memory. "But his dad got a new job in Kentucky and we agreed that long distance would be too hard so we're seeing other people. This is Shane Tinsley. We met at our church's picnic."

"Well, you're a fast worker, aren't you?" frowned Jacob. Mercedes ignored him. "Besides, this is our senior year! We both need to explore what we want to do with our lives."

"Mercedes already knows what she wants to do," said Shane. "She's going to be a star bigger than Mariah and Whitney combined. I believe in her."

Mercedes smiled at her boyfriend. "I love how you're so supportive of me," she cooed as she gave him a kiss. Jacob turned to the camera and mimed gagging.

* * *

"My senior year is going to be all about being the Cheerios captain," said Santana Lopez as she walked down the hall with Brittany Pierce. "Finally," she muttered.

"And what are your future plans, Brittany?" asked Jacob as he tried to keep up with the lithe cheerleaders. She stopped to turn back to him.

"Extending the Mayan calendar. I don't want my senior year to end in the apocalypse" she said before Santana dragged her away to homeroom. Jacob gave his camera-man a confused look.

* * *

"Well, my future-future (you know, the one for my rest of my life) is kind of up in the air right now so I don't know what's really going to happen," admitted Finn. "I don't really know what I'm going to be doing after graduation. I mean, how can I do that when I don't know who I am anymore. Am I a jock or a Gleek? I mean, I just don't know-"

"Welcome back, loser!" laughed Rick "The Stick" Nelson as he and his hockey friends delivered a cherry slushie to Finn's face.

Jacob tried not laugh as Finn wiped the remains of the cold slush off his face. "Well, now I remember!" he said, weakly.

* * *

"Will, you're going to be late!" reminded Emma Pillsbury as she finished buttoning her buttercup yellow blouse. She peeked to see what Will Shuester, her live-in boyfriend, was doing in the bathroom. _Well, technically, _I'm_ the live-in,_she corrected herself. She smiled anyway as Will exited the bathroom, putting the finishing touches to the Windsor knot on his tie. He gave her a good-morning peck on the cheek before picking up his Spanish lesson plan and his Glee club binder. After a quick breakfast of fresh fruit and toast, the couple exited the apartment and walked down the apartment stairs to Will's modest sedan. "Are you excited for the new year?" Emma asked Will who nodded enthusiastically.

"That language seminar I went to last week really gave me some fresh ideas on how to get the freshmen interested in learning Spanish and of course, I'm really hoping to get the Glee kids to Nationals this year."

"It is their senior year," nodded Emma as they drove to the familiar grounds of William McKinley High, home of the Titans. "I'm sure they'd love to end their high school career with a national championship. Besides Santana, Quinn, and Brittany, of course, who are probably used to them with the Cheerios and all." Will nodded as he kept his eyes on the road. "I feel really bad," he confessed. "I feel like the reason we lost Nationals was because we weren't focused. Me especially. I should have had their songs written and rehearsed months before competition instead of chasing a Broadway pipe dream."

"It wasn't a pipe dream, Will," said Emma. Will gave her a look.

"Well, Crossrhodes _is _about to enter Broadway previews."

"Since when do you keep up with the theater boards?" laughed Will. It was Emma's turn to give him a look. "Be honest," she said softly. Will sighed.

"Honestly? I'm a little jealous. I'm kicking myself. I wish that was me on Broadway," admitted Will. "But at the same time, I couldn't leave the kids. They've grown so much and I had to be there for their senior year. And the juniors-I can't just leave them hanging high and dry. I think I've realized that Broadway just isn't my path. I'm meant to be a teacher."

"And there's nothing wrong with that," affirmed Emma. Will agreed as they pulled into a parking spot at the high school.

* * *

"FOCUS," wrote Will on the dry erase board in the choir room. The Glee club was already assembled-with a few absences, unfortunately. Sam had moved away during the summer although he sent Mr. Shue an email wishing them luck for the next school year. Quinn had, apparently, "gone off the map" during the summer. Santana and Brittany discreetly informed him that Quinn would most likely not be coming back to Glee club. "Why not?" asked Will, confused. Santana and Brittany shrugged. "She said she wanted a change," was their answer.

"I know this year means a lot of some of you," said Will as he turned to face his students. "It's your senior year." Cheers from the class of 2012 erupted and Will indulged them.

"And I want you guys to go out with a bang-actually, I want you to go out with a trophy. Namely, a Nationals trophy. And I know we didn't place last year and I take full responsibility. I should have stayed focused on you guys, not on my own dreams."

"Mr. Shue, stop beating yourself up about it," said Rachel. "You don't have to do that anymore."

"Uh, no," scoffed Santana. "In my opinion, he should continue to beat himself up until he gives himself a concussion. If he was more on top of things, we could have at least placed."

"Instead, we ended up with one of the most awkward on stage kisses in the history of on stage kisses," said Mercedes. Rachel flushed and Finn turned around in his seat to glare at Mercedes. "Hey, our kiss was the Superman of kisses!" he proclaimed.

"More like the Aquaman of kisses," snarked Santana. "Lame, slippery, and wet." A few giggles erupted. "You always think on stage kisses are going to be romantic," said Brittany, shaking her head. "But that was just horribly, horribly awkward."

"My favorite YouTube comment is, 'Why is that T-Rex eating the Jew?'" said Artie as he held up his iPhone which had the video of the infamous kiss playing. More giggles erupted. Mercedes rolled her eyes and stood up. "The point is," she proclaimed loudly. "Now we're the laughing stock of the show choir world, no thanks to 'Finchel'."

"Exactly," agreed Will. Rachel and Finn both gave him hurt looks. "Well, not that part about you guys," he amended. "The point is that we're not going to give anybody anything to laugh about anymore. We're going to take that Nationals trophy home and we're going to push ourselves harder and further than we've ever gone before."

Will stopped mid-short of his pep talk and did a quick head count. "Unfortunately, before we can begin, we need more people. We've lost two members already so we're a little short of the required number. So this week is all about focusing on recruiting new members. I know it might be hard but think about it: a few years ago, you all jumped at the chance to join Glee club and somewhere, out in the crowd, there is a freshman, sophomore, junior, or heck-maybe even a senior who wants to belong here. So, thanks to a generous donation from Al Motta-"

"Isn't that guy in the mob?" whispered Lauren Zizes to her boyfriend, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, who shrugged.

Will, with the aid of the jazz band, wheeled in a selection of bright purple pianos. "We are going to be doing something called 'The Purple Piano Project'. Each of these pianos was once broken, damaged, or out of tune. But with a little TLC, they became great again. Kind of like us. We're going to place them all around the school and when you see one, I want you to perform a musical number and inspire someone."

The bell rang, dismissing the early morning powwow.

* * *

During lunch, Rachel and Kurt walked arm and arm into Ms. Pillsbury's office. She looked up from her PB&J sandwich. "How can I help you two?" she asked as she tried to quickly swallow the sticky peanut butter on the roof of her mouth. The two sat down in front of the counselor's desk.

"We have an announcement to make," announced Rachel. Emma's eyes lit up in understanding. "Well, I thought you two were already in committed relationships but I must say that this is one pairing that hasn't been tried yet." She fished a pamphlet that read, "Me and My Hag" and handed it to Kurt, who frowned as he flipped through it.

"No, no, no," corrected Rachel. "What we're announcing is that we're planning on going to Juilliard for musical theater-"

"And we'd appreciate it if we can get some brochures or the like," finished Kurt.

Emma frowned. "You two do know that Juilliard doesn't offer a musical theater major?"

Kurt and Rachel's smiles faltered. "Oh," said Rachel meekly.

"But you know what you want to major in so that's a start to narrowing down colleges," said Emma, as she tried to salvage the situation. She took out a binder from her desk and started to flip through it. "You know there are some great musical theater programs right here in Ohio if you want to stay in-state-"

"NO!" exclaimed Rachel and Kurt together. "It's New York City or nothing," proclaimed Kurt.

"Ms. Pillsbury, being in New York City for Nationals made us realize that it's the city for us. Here, our talents aren't appreciated and scorned even, but in the city, dreams can come true," explained Rachel. Emma nodded and then she flipped through her binder.

"Well, of course there's New York University with the Tisch School of Dramatic Arts, Pace University which, um, has the, uh, Actor's Studio and there's the very exclusive New York Academy of Dramatic Arts which often tops the list of best colleges for performing arts-"

She handed the two of them various pamphlets. "NYADA sounds amazing," said Rachel as she flipped through the pamphlet. "Kurt, look how many alumni are on Broadway now!"

"I should warn you that NYADA is a very exclusive school. They take an average of twenty students each year so it's very competitive," said Ms. Pillsbury. Kurt and Rachel exchanged nervous looks. "But if you want to find out more, there's a prospective mixer coming up here in Ohio and you guys can go and talk to other students and whatnot and see if this is the school for you."

"Thank you, Ms. Pillsbury!" said Kurt and Rachel as they exited her office with an armful of catalogues.

* * *

"Here ya go, Coach!" said Becky Jackson as she handed Coach Sue Sylvester, self-proclaimed _Playboy _model, the latest results from the congressional race. "I'm in 9th place! With 6% of the vote?" cried Sue incredulously. "Oh, Becky, this will not do at all. What am I doing wrong? I'm a tall, lithe blonde woman. Why aren't people being mesmerized by my beauty and falling in line? That's what the Cheerios do."

"I don't know, Coach," agreed Becky. "I'd vote for you."

"Leave the vacuum home, Jackson," snapped Sue. "I don't need you sucking up right now. I need ideas. There's two months until the election and I need to get the people behind me. And I think I know how to do it: we need a fight to get the voters united."

"How about toast?" suggested Becky. "Well, I do hate how it always seems to land butter-side down," mused Sue but her thought process was rudely interrupted by Tina and Mike playing "Chopsticks" on a gaudy purple piano outside of her office. Rolling her eyes, Sue grabbed a large pair of scissors from her desk and went outside to stab the purple piano repeatedly, frightening the two students.

"Learn to play _this _country's national anthem!" yelled Sue. Frightened, Tina and Mike made a break for it. A sophomore geometry teacher, who had been watching, exited her classroom to thank Sue.

"Thank you so much, Sue," said the teacher. "All day those Glee kids have been coming by playing their Broadway-schoamdway medleys and disrupting class. I tell you, these art programs are doing more harm than good for education. All these kids think they're the next Lady Gaga so they don't focus on school. Someone needs to give them a wakeup call."

The teacher returned to her classroom so she missed the scary glint in Sue Sylvester's eye. "Becky, I have an idea," she proclaimed. "I'm leading the fight against the arts!"

* * *

After school, at the Lima Bean, Kurt and Blaine Anderson were enjoying first-day-of-school lattes as Kurt tried to convince Blaine to transfer to McKinley.

"I'm a Warbler officer this year," complained Blaine. "Why would I transfer to McKinley?"

"Because I want my senior year to be magic and the only way that's going to happen is if I get to spend every minute of every day with you?" offered Kurt. Blaine shook his head. "We can still be together even if we go to different schools," he said.

"Excuse me if I want to spare you the humiliation of getting clobbered by New Directions at Sectionals," joked Kurt. "But seriously, I just want to see you more."

"We could've seen each other a lot more if you stayed at Dalton," reminded Blaine.

"But I missed my friends so much-"

"And I won't miss mine?" asked Blaine, raising an eyebrow. "Look," he said. "You know that if I could go to school with you and have classes with you every day and go to Glee club with you, I'd love it. I'd love it, no lie. But I'm a star in the Warblers! I don't want to have to start over and spend my junior year swaying in the background! I mean, granted, I could probably get a couple of one-liners by Christmas time but a full solo wouldn't be mine until graduation. I mean, moving up the Warblers was hard enough but thankfully, Jeff got pneumonia freshman year so I was able to hop the ladder much quicker-"

"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine," interrupted Kurt. "Are you listening to yourself? You sound like this overworked, corporate ladder climbing, scheming cubicle worker. Why would you want to be in this rat race at Dalton, continuously fighting for a solo when you can be in New Directions where everyone gets their chance to shine?"

"I don't know," said Blaine, remaining skeptical. "Are you sure no one minds new people coming in and taking a solo even if they haven't been there the longest?"

"Things aren't based around seniority in New Directions," assured Kurt. "We're always welcoming fresh blood. In fact, we _need_fresh blood this year."

Blaine frowned. "Well, my parents do think Dalton's getting...I'll think about it," he said noncommittally. Kurt's heart sank. They needed just one-_just one_-more person to meet the minimum requirement. Who else could they get?

* * *

"Yo, Q!" hollered Sheila. Quinn Fabray turned around and saw her new friend waving at her. Quinn smirked and strutted down the hall to meet Sheila, relishing the jaw-dropping looks her nose ring, pink hair, and tramp stamp of Ryan Seacrest attracted.

"What's up?" she asked, her alto voice now more noticeably more hoarse, thanks to the Marlboro cigarettes she now carried in her left pocket at all times.

"Let's hit the bleachers," said Sheila and the two girls skipped second period to smoke under the bleachers.

_I can't believe it's my senior year and I've finally found myself, _mused Quinn as she inhaled the nicotine from her cigarette. She smiled at Sheila, Ronnie, and The Mack. _And I'm never going back._

"Yo, Fabray, can we talk?" called Santana from the opposite side of the chain link fence that lined underneath the bleachers. Brittany was with her and both of them were wearing their Cheerios uniforms. Quinn approached the chain link fence separating them and saw the rest of the squad practicing in the distance.

"You guys should get back to practice or Coach Sylvester is going to be pissed," Quinn said coolly. Santana shook her head. "Screw her. We're here to talk about you. We want you to come back to the squad-"

"And glee club," added Brittany.

"It's our senior year," continued Santana. "We can win two national championships: cheerleading and nationals. Come on, what's a better way to end high school?"

"Come on Quinn, we do everything together," pleaded Brittany. "We joined cheerleading together, we joined Glee together, and we all slept with Puckerman the same year. We were like the Three Musketeers and now Santana and I are like an Almond Joy and you're this cherry Jolly Rancher in an ashtray."

"Literally," coughed Santana, waving the smoke Quinn blew her way. "Come on, you can't break up the Unholy Trinity. I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide in my locker with your name on it."

Quinn shook her head. "You guys don't understand what it was like for me. All that pressure and all that misery and for what? Nothing. When I got pregnant, Cheerios was never there for me."

"But Glee was," reminded Brittany.

"I'm not going back just to watch Finn and Rachel make lovey dovey eyes at each other while I sway in the background," said Quinn. "Is that how you two plan to spend your senior year?"

Santana and Brittany exchanged glances.

"That's what I thought," said Quinn. "Good luck at Sectionals or whatever."

She turned away and went back to her friends. "Glee club will always be here for you, Quinn!" yelled Santana but Quinn didn't even look back. "Well that was a bust," she grumbled as she and Brittany went back to Coach Sue who was yelling something about "sloppy babies".

Santana turned to Brittany. "Do you really think that's how it's going to be?" she asked. "What do you mean?" said Brittany. "I don't want to be in the background anymore," said Santana as she pushed past Becky towards the front row. "This is our year to shine."

* * *

"Oh look, Sue's Corner is on," said Emma and she grabbed the remote to raise the volume. Will looked up from the papers he was grading and moved closer to her on the couch. "Is she plugging her congressional campaign again?" asked Will.

"_As you may all know I am running for Congress this election but a lot of people have been asking me, 'Sue, what do you stand for? What do you stand against? Where do you get those fabulous track suits?" Well, Western Ohio, here I am to put your mind at ease. First of all, I stand for caning, littering, and more resources for special-needs students in public schools. And I stand against the art programs in public schools."_

"Wait, what?" exclaimed Will.

_"That's right. Arts programs have done nothing for our children or our taxpayers except bleed them dry and give delusions of grandeur. Why should we shell out thousands and thousands of dollars so some kid can draw you a picture of a tree? Listen up, children! You can buy crayons and paper at the Dollar Store so stop taking away money our taxpayers are shelling out so you can pretend to be Vincent Van Goh. Speaking of which, the arts have terrible role models for children. Vincent Van Goh cut off his ear, and most musicians and actors end up as low-life drug addicts who contribute nothing to society other than to glamorize bad choices. Need an example? First name Lindsay, last name Lohan. If elected, I will promise to cut all funding for arts programs in public schools and give the money to more worthy causes such as educational resources for the mentally and physically "differently abled" in public schools. Also, all my track suits are custom made so don't think you can try to steal Sylvester Style at your local Foot Locker. And that's how Sue "C's" it."_

Will and Emma wordlessly exchanged horrified looks.

* * *

"How could you do this, Sue?" demanded Will of Sue in her office the next day. "I thought we were friends now or at least on good terms. How could you let me find out about this on the local news like everybody else? And why are you attacking the arts? Have you forgotten that it was the kids in the Glee club who sang at your sister's funeral and helped you throughout that time?" Sue Sylvester serenely polished her 2005 national cheerleading championship trophy and then turned back to Will.

"It's nothing personal William," she told him. "The people want to unite behind a common cause and the arts, regrettably, is like a pimply face kid with horn rimmed glasses and an awkward posture-you just want to punch him in the face and you're not going to feel bad about it."

"So you're just doing this to get votes? You're not really going to cut arts programs?"

"Oh, I'm going to cut the arts, William." Sue smiled. "What kind of politician breaks her promise?"

"I'm not letting you get away with this, Sue," said Will. "You can't do this. There are a lot of kids-not just the Glee club-who love music and art. I'm not letting you take those things away from them just so you can win an election."

"If you get in my way William, you know I will have no problem destroying you."

"That's how you repay people who have been nothing but nice to you time after time? I know you can be cruel, Sue, but this is a new low even for you."

Will shook his head and walked away.

"I hope I can count on your vote!" called Sue as he exited her office. Just at that moment, Santana and Becky came in.

"You wanted to see us, Coach?" asked Becky as she took a seat in front of Coach Sylvester's desk. Santana mimicked her, although she wished she had sat down first.

"Ladies, as you know I am campaigning for Congress this year so my head Cheerio has to be able to handle more responsibility than any other head cheerleader before," Sue said. Santana nodded solemnly and straightened up, shooting Becky a confused look. _What is she doing here?_ wondered Santana. _Probably going to make her my assistant to help with the load._

"You both are valuable additions to the Cheerios and both have natural leadership abilities and the personality of a stone cold fox, much like yours truly." Sue paused. "Which is why I'm making you both co-captains of the Cheerios this year."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Becky and Santana in unison. "Are you kidding me? I'm not working with her! She's the biggest bitch on the planet and that's coming from me!" cried Santana. "Do you see how she is?" demanded Becky. "I can't work with her!" She then stormed off but Santana remained.

"Coach Sylvester, I don't understand," said Santana, trying to stay calm but her shaking voice betrayed her. "I've been on the squad longer than Becky, I was acting captain when Quinn Fabray got knocked up sophomore year, I've worked car washes and bake sales, I did my time in the bottom of the pyramid, I've spied on the Glee club for you, and I didn't say a word to that NCA official when he was asking about your Cayman Islands accounts...Why am I not the sole Cheerios captain? I've been working for this my entire high school career. It's not fair! What do I have to do? What did I do wrong?"

Sue leaned forward in her chair. "I admire your driven spirit Santana and I won't deny all the work you've put in over the years. But the reason I didn't make you the only head cheerleader is because, frankly, I've been having some doubts about your loyalty to this team."

"What do you mean?" Santana's eyes were wide and fearful.

"I am sure you know by now that my congressional campaign platform is all about eliminating art programs in public schools..."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, considering all the time you spend with the Glee club, is it too much of a stretch that when push comes to shove, you might take their side in all this?"

"No, of course not! I wouldn't do that. I'm Team Sue all the way," insisted Santana. "I'll do anything Coach. Just tell me what you want and I'll show you how loyal I really am."

Sue smiled. "You know Schuster's 'Purple Piano Project'? I want you and the rest of the Cheerios to destroy every single lavender, plum, violet, or lilac colored piano in this school. Just make it look like an accident."

Santana nodded. "Of course. Anything you want. And then I can be captain, right?"

Sue merely smiled. "What kind of politician breaks her promise?" she asked.

* * *

It took a lot of courage but Rachel skipped class early to sneak down under the bleachers before lunch in hopes of convincing Quinn to come back to the club. She knew Santana and Brittany had already failed but it couldn't hurt to try again, couldn't it?

"Um, Quinn? Er, Skanks?" Rachel said hesitantly to the group of tough looking girls who were glaring at her. Quinn turned away from The Skanks to face Rachel with a clearly annoyed expression on her face.

"What do you want?" she asked, taking a deep drag from her cigarette and then blowing the smoke in Rachel's face. Rachel wanted to cough but she knew that would just make her look weak in front of the Skanks. "Your friend smells like soap, Quinn," sneered a girl named Ronnie.

"She's not my friend," said Quinn coolly. Rachel's heart sank. "Look, Quinn I know we haven't been the best of friends-"

"That's right," agreed Quinn. "Then again, it's a little hard to be friends with a girl who's stolen your boyfriend. _Twice_."

"So you're still mad about Finn, then?" said Rachel. Quinn shook her head.

"It's not even about Finn, anymore, Rachel. I know I deserved to lose him when I lied to him about Beth but I forgave you for telling him because I shouldn't have led him on like that. But he and I got over that and when we got back together, you shouldn't have tried to keep stealing my boyfriend just because you wanted a male lead."

"No, it wasn't like that," interrupted Rachel. "I really do love Finn and I'm sorry that's how things worked out Quinn but...we can't throw away our friendship just because of some boy."

"Like I said, it's not about Finn anymore. It's the whole Glee club. That whole environment is toxic, with the rumors and the cheating-"

"Yeah, way more toxic than all the cigarette smoke down here," agreed Rachel sarcastically. "Look, we're all teenagers in there and yeah, we're going to do stupid and petty stuff once in a while. But Glee club is much more than Fuinn or Finchel or any other boyfriends or girlfriend pairings. It's about opening yourself up to joy. I know you're unhappy, Quinn. And I don't want anything more in this world than for you to be happy. You deserve it after all you've been through and you're not going to get it here, no offense Skanks." Rachel cast a worried look at Sheila who looked as if she wanted to punch her. "We all miss you and you know we all care about you. Don't you remember how much fun we had? We're doing this thing called 'The Purple Piano Project'-have you seen those purple pianos around the school? And we're trying to inspire people to join by performing a song whenever we see one-"

"Enough," interrupted The Mack. She stepped up to Quinn who was solemnly looking at Rachel, as if she might be considering Rachel's words. "Quinn, I will give you ten bucks if you let me punch her," begged The Mack. Rachel held her breath but Quinn shook her head. "No. It's fine," she said, turning away again, indicating Rachel's dismissal. Disappointed, Rachel returned to the main building for lunch.

* * *

Rachel stomped over to the lunch table where the New Directions were eating. "Hey Rachel, what's wrong?" asked Tina, looking concerned.

"The week is almost over and we have zero new members, that's what's wrong," huffed Rachel as she sat down.

"What, did you expect everyone to just fall over themselves to join the club just because we played 'Chopsticks' on a purple piano in the middle of the hallway?" said Lauren, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's face it, this Purple Piano Project is a bust," agreed Puck.

"That's because we've all been doing it on our own," argued Rachel. "People aren't going to join if they just see two or three people playing scales on a piano. They'll join if they see how much fun performing really is."

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" asked Kurt, raising his eyebrows.

Rachel nodded. "There's a purple piano right here in the cafeteria and Mr. Shue did say that if we saw one, we had to inspire someone," she sing-songed. Santana groaned but the rest of the club started shuffling around, preparing. "I have my iPod dock in my locker," whispered Mike excitedly as he sprinted out the doors to the halls. Mercedes and Tina immediately huddled over Rachel's iPod as they debated what song they should pick.

"Quick, spread out," hissed Rachel. "Like a flash mob," added Kurt. The New Directions spread out across the cafeteria as Mike came back with the iPod dock. Kurt plugged it in and _We Got the Beat_by The Go-Gos started playing. Rachel took over the first verse and sang:

_See the people walking down the street_  
_Fall in line just watching all their feet_  
_They don't know where they wanna go_  
_But they're walking in time_

_They got the beat, They got the beat, _sang Tina, Mercedes, Brittany, and Santana as they danced in the middle of the cafeteria. Santana looked up and noticed the Cheerios team giving her strange looks. Remembering her loyalties, Santana quickly sat down next to them as Kurt took over the second verse, hoping no one would notice.

_See the kids just getting out of school _  
_They can't wait to hang out and be cool _  
_Hang around 'til quarter after twelve _  
_That's when they fall in line _

Now the male members of New Directions took the floor, led by Mike Chang, in a fit of energetic head banging and clapping. Finn looked around the cafeteria, thrilled. Some people were responding to the music. There was a skinny girl with brown hair eyeing Puck as he jumped up on a cafeteria table to do a series of push-ups. Some people were dancing in their seats and Brittany and Mike made it their mission to pull those people onto the floor with the club for the chorus. Mercedes took advantage of the excitement and belted out the second verse

_Go-Go music really makes us dance_  
_Do the Pony puts us in a trance _  
_Do the Watusi just give us a chance _  
_That's when we fall in line _

For the last chorus, the New Directions spread out across the cafeteria, trying to get people to dance with them. Brittany finally noticed Santana hiding at the Cheerios table and pulled her girlfriend up.

_Everybody get on your feet,_ she sang. _We know you can dance to the beat. _In spite herself, Santana smiled and sang back, _Jumpin' - get down! Round and round and round!_

The New Directions all whooped as the last notes of the song faded away. After it finished, Rachel nervously scanned the cafeteria for the student body reaction. Some people started clapping and she beamed. It worked! Her idea worked!

Caught up in their exuberance, the Glee club didn't notice Rick sneaking up on Rachel and Kurt, who were standing close together, and throwing a cherry red slushie on them. "Get this beat, losers!" he laughed as he returned to his table, who cheered him on. "Hey!" shouted Mercedes protectively. She grabbed a ham sandwich from someone's table and threw it with all her might at Rick's mullet.

Her aim was successful but it only enraged Rick even more. He grabbed a fistful of the cafeteria spaghetti to throw back but Shane tried to stop him. "Come on man-just leave it," he tried to reason. Unfortunately, the spaghetti in Rick's hand slipped and landed on Shane's varsity jacket. "Oh you did not just do that!" he growled. He grabbed a handful of his own spaghetti and tried to smash it against Rick's face but Rick slipped out of his grasp and ducked, causing the spaghetti to hit Jacob Ben Israel who turned around slowly and then stood up. His hand moved behind him for a fistful of spaghetti.

There was an awful silence. "Oh no," whispered Finn and he immediately moved towards Rachel and Kurt to shield them.

"FOOD FIGHT!" shouted Jacob Ben Israel. With a roar, the cafeteria erupted in an all-out food fight. The football team ganged up on the hockey team, who continued to try to pelt the Glee club with as much cafeteria food as possible. The Cheerios shrieked in disgust as Jacob and his friends tried to pour milk down their uniforms. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors started pelting each other with all the food in their lunchboxes.

"Why is it every time we do this, it always ends in a riot?" wondered Tina as she and Mike tried to make a break for the doors.

* * *

Back in the choir room, the Glee club was trying unsuccessfully to clean up.

"Well, I'd say that this ranks higher than the Brittany Spears sex riot we ignited last year in terms of failure," commented Kurt dryly as he tried to brush off dried spaghetti sauce off his jacket. "I still think Tik-Tok was better," replied Brittany. "Me too," agreed Santana. "Although I think it's because you barfed on Berry."

"This was a disaster," complained Rachel. "Maybe we should just kidnap people and force them to join the Glee club," suggested Puck as Lauren carefully picked out salad leaves from his mohawk.

"It couldn't have been that bad," said Mr. Shue, trying to build up some positivity. "You said people were getting into it towards the end. And at least you guys don't have to clean up the cafeteria because it was the hockey team who started it."

"What does it matter?" sighed Rachel. "Who's going to want to join Glee club now?"

'Um, excuse me?" said a slightly nasal voice.

The club turned to see a brunette girl in skinny jeans in the doorway. She smiled brightly and took the center of the room. "Hi, I'm Sugar Motta," she said. "And I just wanted to say that when I saw you guys performing out there, looking like you were having the time of your lives, I thought...'Wow. I am so much better than them.' Especially you, in the white dress."

"I'm sorry but can we help you?" snapped Rachel who folded her arms over her stained white dress. Sugar didn't notice Rachel's annoyed tone and continued. "Actually, I heard you guys were looking for new members and I want to join."

"That's great!" exclaimed Will as the glee club whispered excitedly to each other. "Told you my idea would work," gloated Rachel to Kurt who smiled and rolled his eyes. "Do you have a song you want to audition with?" asked Will. Sugar nodded. "Of course. I will be singing _Big Spender _from the musical _Sweet Charity_. I'm kind of the voice that Broadway songs were made for."

Rachel made a jealous noise in the back of her throat but Finn but his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. As Sugar began to sing, it was clear that Rachel (or anybody for that matter) had nothing to worry about.

_The minute you walked in the joint_  
_I could tell you were a man of distinction_  
_A real big spender_  
_Good looking_  
_So refined_  
_Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind_  
_Hey, big spender!_  
_Spend a little time with me, Yeah! _sang Sugar horribly off-key. The Glee club stared at her, unaware what to do. Brittany took the lead and clapped enthusiastically and the others hesitantly followed her example. Will tried to smile encouragingly at Sugar.

"Um, thank you for that Sugar, we'll let you know," he said. Sugar merely beamed and flounced out of the room.

* * *

"I mean this girl was bad," Will was telling Emma and Coach Shannon Beiste. "American Idol worst of the worst bad. And what's worse-"

"Is her singing?" quipped Emma.

"No, it's that I think that she believes she is the greatest thing since sliced bread," said Will, shaking his head. "I don't know what to do. We need more members but...how can we possibly compete with a girl who sings so off-key and out of tune?"

"What do the other kids think?" asked Shannon, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Well..." Will thought about Rachel pursuing him through the hallway while he was on his way to Spanish class.

_"Mr. Shue, you cannot be serious about letting this girl in," cried Rachel as she followed him through the halls._

_"Rachel, we're not really in a position to turn down new members," he reminded her._

_"She's going to drag us down!" insisted Rachel. "How can you tell us that you're going to take us to Nationals when you want to bring on a load that won't even let us make it past Sectionals?"_

_Will sighed, trying to think of a good reply but Rachel had already stormed off._

"Well, you have Mike Chang and he couldn't sing when he first joined," pointed out Emma. "Maybe you can give this girl singing and dancing lessons." Will nodded. "What do you think, Shannon?" he asked.

Shannon was silent for a moment before she replied. "Well, Will...When you're managing a team, you're in it to win it. Do you think I would benefit if I let every Tom, Dick or Harry who saw _Facing the Giants_on the football team?"

"So you're saying I should tell her no?" frowned Will.

"Not necessarily," amended Shannon. "Sometimes a kid is a diamond in the rough that needs a little polishing. Emma's right; you should give this girl singing lessons but if she's like you said and thinks she's Whitney Houston when her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard...you gotta let her go. Tell her there's always room for improvement."

Will nodded. "Thanks for your advice, guys. I really appreciate it,"

* * *

"What extracurriculars are you putting down for your applications?" asked Kurt to Rachel as they walked down the hall together. "Well, I've joined practically every club that gets a photo in the yearbook but I'll have to start actually going to meetings this year if I want the club advisors to let me put them on my resume," Rachel told him. "And you have Glee, football, and Cheerios and maybe we can start a PFLAG chapter this year together…" Kurt suddenly stopped in front of the school's bulletin board.

"Rachel, look!" he gasped as he pointed at a flyer that announced auditions for the school musical, _West Side Story_. "We have to audition," he insisted. "Of course," agreed Rachel as they continued down the hall. "You as Tony and me as Maria. So that'll be just one more thing to put on our resumes to impress NYADA and all those other schools."

"I'm really nervous about the mixer tomorrow night," admitted Kurt. "What if those other prospectives are better than us? I mean, they've known about this school since they were freshmen and we just found out about it which means they've had more time to prepare…"  
"Kurt, don't worry," interrupted Rachel. "We have the most talent out of anyone in this school and probably all of Ohio. We eat, sleep, and breathe show choir. Plus, no one wants this more than we do."

"I don't know." Kurt chewed his cheek worriedly. "What if that's not enough?"

"When is that never enough?" asked Rachel. The bell rang, indicating it was time to go to class.

* * *

"Hi, Kurt," said a familiar voice.

"Oh hi, Blaine," responded Kurt distractedly. "So how's your day been?" asked Blaine, leaning against Kurt's locker, smiling slyly in his bow tie and coral skinny jeans, wildly out of the Dalton uniform.

"Terrible if you want to know," said Kurt as he got his books out of his locker. "There's the NYADA mixer tonight and I'm really nervous about meeting the other prospectives and plus the Glee club needs to find one more member so we can compete and we had one girl come in and she was awful but Mr. Shue says we have to let her in—"

"Sounds tough," nodded Blaine. "It is," agreed Kurt and he then took a double take at Blaine.

"Wait, what are you doing here in the middle of the day? Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

"I transferred to McKinley," he replied proudly. Kurt's face exploded in joy but then it quickly fell. "Wait, you didn't transfer because of me, did you? Because I was just kidding. I don't want you to do anything major like this just for me—"

"No, no, no," interrupted Blaine. He sighed and lowered his voice as he looked around. "Tuition at Dalton's getting kind of expensive and my parents thought it'd just be easier to send me to public school so I picked McKinley."

"Oh my God, that's so…" Kurt struggled to find the right words. "Like that sucks about Dalton but I'm so happy you're here! You're going to have so much fun here! Rachel and I are starting a PFLAG chapter here and you have to join Glee club. I mean, it's not the Warblers or anything but—"

Blain lifted up a hand to interrupt him. "When can I audition? And can I have backup dancers?"

* * *

The first few notes of _It's Not Unusual _by Tom Jones started playing in the outdoor cafeteria where Blaine was dancing near the purple piano stationed out there. Blaine asked if anyone wanted to dance backup and to everyone's surprise, Santana volunteered herself and the Cheerios.

_It's not unusual to be loved by anyone_ sang Blaine.  
_It's not unusual to have fun with anyone_  
_But when I see you hanging about with anyone_  
_It's not unusual to see me cry_  
_Oh, I wanna die!_

His charm was infectious and some people in the crowd seemed to be enchanted with him. Kurt beamed at him happily as Blaine serenaded a group of shy looking freshmen girls. All eyes were on Blaine, which meant no one noticed the Cheerios sneakily pouring lighter fluid on the vivid purple piano.

_It's not unusual to be mad with anyone_  
_It's not unusual to be sad with anyone_  
_But if I ever find that you've changed at anytime_  
_It's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you_  
_Whoa-oh-oh-oh!_

Blaine finished the song with a small flourish. Some people clapped and Quinn, who had been watching the whole time from the top of the bleachers, stood up and walked down to flick her still lit cigarette at the piano which immediately caught on fire. Everyone nearby jumped back instantly, except for a confused Santana, who was still holding an open lighter.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine stared at her, open mouthed. Santana sheepishly dropped the lighter and ran off with the rest of the Cheerios.

"God, I'm a little nervous," said Kurt to Rachel as they pulled up into the hotel ballroom where the NYADA mixer was being held. "Tell me the plan again."

"We're going to go in there, introduce ourselves, make polite conversation—"

"'So what school do you go to?'" suggested Kurt. "'What's your favorite Broadway musical?' etc, etc."

"And then after ten minutes of small talk, we suggest singing some impromptu karaoke and we kick things off with our Happy Days Are Here Again/Come on Get Happy mash up—"

"I wish I'd worn my Judy Garland outfit," said Kurt mournfully as he inspected his trendy skinny jeans, button up, and black blazer.

"No, that'd be too obvious," said Rachel. "Anyway, after we wow the others as the second coming of Barbara and Judy, they will never think of applying to NYADA ever again, not with us in the applicant pool."

"God, I can't wait," said Kurt, smiling. "It's going to happen. We're going to go to New York and live out our dreams, just like we've been planning all summer."

They entered the ballroom, prepared for awkward small talk and boring questions about dorms but they were ambushed by a raven haired teenager with bright red lips. "Hello, hello. What are your names and what are your credentials? I'm Harmony," she said, smiling but to Kurt it felt like she was baring her teeth. "Oh, but you probably recognize me anyway, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" asked Kurt, giving Rachel a confused look.

"I've been acting since I was a fetus—literally," continued Harmony. "An ultrasound of me was featured on _Murder, She Wrote_and I was also the Gerber baby."

"Oh," commented Rachel politely as she scanned the room for someone to save them from this crazy girl. But to her horror, she realized that all the other prospectives in the room looked exactly like her and Kurt—she noticed that some of them were wearing the exact pieces she and Kurt had hanging up in their closets and even the Harmony girl had the same exact star necklace Rachel currently had around her neck. Rachel touched it protectively as the other prospectives caught sight of Kurt and Rachel and surrounded them, presenting a barrage of their biographies and their resumes.

"Hi, I'm Gunther," introduced a flamboyant brunette boy who had the exact same porcelain complexion as Kurt. "I won my first dance competition when I was three months old—I learned how to grand jeté before I could walk—"

"And I'm Barbara—as in Barbara Streisand? She's my idol! In fact, I played Fanny in my school musical production of _Funny Girl_. Everyone said it was just like watching her," chimed in a Jewish brunette girl not unlike Rachel.

"Well, I'm Kurt Hummel and this is Rachel Berry," said Kurt nervously as he looked at the crowd of hungry, determined wannabes. "We're seniors at McKinley High and we just found out about this NYADA mixer. We're thinking of applying there."

"Oh, we've been meeting here since we were in middle school," piped up Harmony as she led the two to a pair of chairs in front of a small stage. "It's so nice to have some fresh faces. We've been working on this little number all week and there was a Bar Mitzvah here last night but thankfully, I convinced them not to take anything down. So just sit back, relax, and most importantly…" Harmony paused before smiling again. "_Enjoy._"

Rachel and Kurt exchanged confused looks before a mash up of _Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do_began with Harmony in the lead, taking pleasure in intimidating Rachel and Kurt as much as possible.

_Times have changed _she sang powerfully.  
_And we've often rewound the clock_  
_Since the Puritans got a shock_  
_When they landed on Plymouth Rock_  
_If today, any shock they should try to stand_  
_'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock—_  
_Plymouth Rock would land on them._

As Harmony sang the chorus for _Anything Goes_, the other prospectives chimed in with an energetic jazz routine.

_Anything you can be, I can be greater, _belted out Harmony, shooting a look at Rachel and Kurt. _Sooner or later, I'm greater than you._

During the instrumental break, the floor became full of the talented brunettes swing dancing, with Harmony at the center of attention. Gunther did a series of backflips and cartwheels across the floor, causing Kurt and Rachel to jump back a little.

_Any note you can hold, I can hold longer _cried the prospectives. _I can hold any note longer than you_, smirked Harmony.

_No you can't (Yes I can!)_  
_No you can't (Yes I can!)_  
_Yes!_  
_(No!)_  
_I ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-an!_

The group ended center stage with a flourish and then out of nowhere, two small firecracker cannons exploded, surprising Rachel and Kurt even more. They stared open mouthed at the prospectives.

"What'd you think?" asked Harmony, smiling. "Don't worry. This is a just a rehearsal. You have to come see our performances to get the full effect."

Rachel and Kurt only stared, hopelessly out of their league.

* * *

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed but Rachel and Kurt didn't care enough to be scared of driving home in the rain because they were too busy sobbing.

"What were we thinking?" sobbed Rachel. "'We eat, breathe, and sleep show choir?' No, we don't! They do! I thought wanting it would be enough and it'd at least take us somewhere but we're nothing compared to those kids!"

"Oh God, and those are just the NYADA kids," groaned Kurt. "What if the NYU and Pace kids are better?"

"Maybe we should just give up," said Rachel in a small voice. Kurt stared at her open-mouthed for a moment and then he grabbed Rachel by the shoulders to face him.

"Don't you ever say that again, Rachel Barbara Berry! Did Barbara Streisand give up? Did Judy Garland give up? Did Liza Minnelli give up? Kristen Chenoweth or Idina Menzel? No, they didn't. Even though they faced obstacles on the way, did they sit in their car and cry about it? Or did they decide to work harder ever than before? We may not be as good as those kids in there but that doesn't mean that we can't be someday. Only twenty kids get admitted to NYADA, only 40% of applicants get into NYU and I can't remember the admissions rate for Pace but that doesn't mean that one of those kids can't be us. We have to at least try. So I'll tell you what we're going to do: we're going to go to my house, drink some hot chocolate, do more college research, and plan our senior year so we can get in every single one of those schools and wave our letters of admission in those kids' faces."

Rachel smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thanks, Kurt," she told him. "Now I can see why Blaine loves you so much. Because you have a good heart and you won't give up on your dreams and you won't let anyone else give up either."

"Don't forget my impeccable taste in fashion," he reminded. Rachel laughed and the two friends did a gay high-five (a pinky link followed by spirit fingers) for good luck. "I'm really glad we're friends this year," she told him. "Me too," agreed Kurt.

* * *

The five minute warning bell rang and Will took a deep breath before affecting a friendly smile as he approached Sugar who was at her locker.

"Hi, Sugar," he greeted.

"Hi, Mr. Shue," she said, not looking at him.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that we're really happy to have you join with the New Directions," he told her.

Sugar frowned. "Nude erections? Look, Mr. Shue, I'm flattered but I think this is—"

"No, no, no," Will hastily corrected. "New _Di-rections _is the name the Glee club competes as. Welcome aboard!"

"That's kind of a lame name. Oh, well. It doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to my first solo. When do we start rehearsals?"

"Actually, Sugar," Will began, unsure of how to say what he wanted to say. "You're not quite ready for solos yet. But the other girls are eager to help you catch up. Rachel Berry has offered to help you and Mike Chang says he can give you dance lessons if you want."

"What, do you think I'm terrible?" snapped Sugar.

"No, no, no," said Will quickly. "It's just that this is your first year and you're not quite on the same level as everyone else—"

"Not on the same level!" cried Sugar. "Mr. Shue, with all due respect, I worked that song like a stripper pole! If you and your club can't handle a little talent then maybe you're not worth my time. I'm going to find a show choir that actually appreciates my voice. Good luck!"

Sugar slammed her locker and walked away in a huff. Will sighed and his mood was worsened by Sue coming up behind him with the latest polls. "Hey there, Shuester! Feeling down? Well, I'm not! I just jumped nine points since I declared a war on the arts. You should watch Sue's Corner next week. I'm going to do a nice little expose on your show choir. Got enough members yet?"

* * *

"Well even though Sugar Motta declined to join us, we are very pleased to have Blaine Anderson from the Dalton Academy Warbler's here with us," said Mr. Shue as he led the applause for Blaine's welcome.

"Welcome to McKinley, Blaine," said Lauren. "Hope you're ready for slushie facials."

Blaine gave her a confused look before Mr. Shue jumped in. "That reminds me. Principal Figgins has revised the school's definition of bullying to include slushies being thrown with malicious intent so if you guys get hit, report that person immediately and trust me, they will be punished."

"Well, I just want to say that I'm really glad to be here at McKinley and even though I might miss the Warblers, I know I'm going to have a lot of fun with you guys," said Blaine. Several people nodded in agreement except for Finn who sniped, "Yeah, we're not anything like the Warblers, dude. So, like, don't be surprised if we don't have blazers or canaries or whatever. New Directions is different."

"Oh, I get it," said Blaine hastily before sitting down. "But I think there's some things that the Warblers did that the New Directions could benefit from."

"I find that hard to believe," scoffed Finn. "Considering that we beat you guys last year at Sectionals."

"Come on guys," intervened Kurt. "We have bigger fish to fry than argue who's better than whom."

"That's exactly right, Kurt," agreed Will. "Which brings me to my next order of business. Somebody sabotaged one of our purple pianos and I hate to say that it's someone in here."

Will looked pointedly at Santana and everyone followed his example.  
"What?" she demanded. "Santana, don't bother trying to deny it," said Will. "I have multiple eyewitnesses who say they saw you and the other Cheerios pouring lighter fluid on the piano and you about to light it."

"But I didn't," pointed out Santana. "Quinn did it so if anyone is going to get in trouble, it should be her."

"Still, you had the lighter in the first place," countered Will.

"Come on Santana," said Tina. "I thought you said that Glee club was your favorite part of the day. Why did you do it?"

"Okay, look," said Santana, standing up. "Coach Sylvester promised to make me the sole Cheerios captain if I sabotaged the piano. Happy now?"

Will shook his head. "I'm sorry, Santana but this year is all about getting to Nationals and we can't do that if someone on the team is sabotaging every step of the way for a cheerleading captainship. I know that the Cheerios and Glee are both important to you and I hate to do this but I'm going to have to give you an ultimatum: whose team are you on this year?"

Santana was silent for a moment as everyone looked at her. Brittany squeezed her hand but Santana stood up. "Can I give you my answer later?" she asked. "I need to think about it."

Will nodded. "Of course. Come back anytime."

Santana gave a faint smile and wave as she left the choir room. Lauren huffed and said, "Good riddance."

"But that means we still only have eleven members," complained Mike. "She'll be back," said Brittany confidently. "Santana wouldn't just leave without me."

"Well now that _that_ order of business is taken care of, I have an announcement," said Rachel standing up as she smoothed her cotton dress. "I am going to be trying out for the school musical, _West Side Story_—"

"Hey, I'm the student director for that!" piped up Artie. He looked around the room. "You guys should all definitely try out. It'll look good on your college applications."

"I also have an announcement," said Kurt, standing up. "I am going to be running for senior class president with a platform that emphasizes support for the arts, anti-bullying, and starting a PFLAG chapter here at McKinley. I hope I can all count on your vote."

"I can help with your campaign," offered Brittany. "I've made a lot of posters for the Cheerios and as long as you give me a spellchecker, I think they'll turn out great." Kurt smiled at her. "Thanks, Britt."

"I love a happy ending as much as the next person but we still need one more person to join Glee club," pointed out Lauren. "Mr. Shue, this Purple Piano Project was a bust," agreed Puck. "We only convinced one person to join and she sucked."

"We just have to keep trying guys," piped up Rachel. "After all…"

_You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill_  
_You can try to stop the seasons, girl, but you know you never will_  
_And you can try to stop my dancing feet but I just can't sit still_

_'Cause this world keeps spinning 'round and 'round_ jumped in Kurt.  
_And my heart's keeping time with the of speed sound_  
_I was lost till I heard the drums and I found my wa-a-a-a-ay!_

The Glee club was now performing onstage on the auditorium, dressed in purple, with the remaining undamaged purple pianos with them onstage.

_You can't stop the beat!_  
_Ever since this whole world began,_  
_A woman found out if she shook it, she could shake up a man_  
_So I'm gonna shake and shimmy to the best that I can today!_  
_'Cause you can't stop the motion of the ocean or the sun in the sky!_  
_You can wonder if you wanna but I'll never ask why_  
_But if you try to hold me down, I'm gonna spit in your eye and sa-a-ay_  
_That you can't stop the beat!_

Unbeknownst to them, Quinn was looking down upon them from the rafters with a faint smile on her face.


	2. I Am Unicorn

A/N: I hope you all like the first episode and here's the second one.

CHAPETER TWO: I AM UNICORN

_Fondue for two!_  
_Fondue for two!_  
_It's Fondue for two!_

Brittany's internet show's theme song ended and Brittany adjusted the camera so viewers could see both her and Kurt Hummel perched on her bed, making campaign posters.

"Hi everyone, it's Brittany S. Pierce and today is a very special _Fondue for Two _because we have McKinley High senior class presidential candidate Kurt Hummel with us today."

"It's a pleasure to be here," said Kurt smiling. "Although I thought we were just going to make some campaign posters?"

"Yeah but I want to capture the behind the scene of a presidential campaign. My viewers and Lord Tubbington want to know what kind of stress presidential hopefuls face on the campaign trail."

"Well, one of the first things you have to do is decide your platform. My platform is all about supporting the arts like glee, band, orchestra, and art; putting an end to bullying; and starting a PFLAG chapter at McKinley which is going to help a lot of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender students come together and find a safe place to talk about who they really are."

"That sounds awesome, Kurt. Can I join?"

"Sure. We welcome anybody, regardless of sexuality."

"Do you accept cats?" asked Brittany, pointing the camera to a nonchalant Lord Tubbington.

"Uh, I don't think so," said Kurt nervously as he watched Brittany fidget with the camera.

"Do you know what I like about you, Kurt? You're like a unicorn. You're so unique and special and you don't want to hide it. And that's what I think should be the theme of your campaign. Like you're going to lead our senior class to an enchanted forest where we can just be chill and not judge anybody. And hang out with other unicorns."

"Uhhh…" Kurt smiled nervously. "Sounds great, Britt."

"Look, I even made unicorn hats for your supporters!" Brittany turned the camera onto herself wearing sparkly silver headband with a monstrous unicorn horn erupting from the top.

"Uh, why don't we just focus on making posters for now?" said Kurt gently.

* * *

"Guys I have excellent news!" said Will as he entered the choir room.

"What, all of Vocal Adrenaline suddenly contracted a mysterious bird flu that no one can trace the origins of?" asked Puck.

"What? No!" said Will. He shook his head and continued. "Dustin Goolsby, the Vocal Adrenaline director, has been fired because they got second place at Nationals last year. So now they have to find a new director willing to push their kids to the point where it borders on abuse and lucky for us, most of those crazy directors have already been picked up by mothers gearing up for pageant season. This means Vocal Adrenaline is extremely vulnerable."

"Good," breathed Puck. "Just to be safe, I recommend that we all wash our hands with extremely hot water and that we sneeze into our elbows, vampire style. Also, stay away from any Vocal Adrenaline hang outs."

"Like the smoothie place at the mall?" asked Mercedes, confused. "Because I was just there last week."

"If you have a fever, stay home Mercedes," instructed Puck. "We don't want you infecting all of us."

The other Glee club members exchanged confused looks. "Puck, are you talking about bioterrorism?" asked Artie, worried. Puck shook his head as Lauren spoke up for him. "Mr. Puckerman doesn't have to say anything more unless there's an attorney present."

"Okay, we'll have to talk about that Puck, so see me after practice," said Will sternly. Puck nodded.

"Now I've been reviewing our performances and comparing them to last year's Top Ten and I've seen what we need to work on: dancing. Mike and Brittany are fantastic dancers and I'm afraid we can no longer let them have a dance break during the instrumental and expect to win. We all need to be at their level. Thankfully, Mike has graciously offered to help everyone in what we're going to call "Booty Camp". Now this is for everyone, not just our weaker dancers like—"

"Me?" asked Finn knowingly. Everyone laughed good-naturedly as Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Shue, when is Booty Camp going to be? Because some of us are planning on trying out for musical and I don't want any conflicts to arise."

Will nodded. "Artie, can you keep us posted on any musical rehearsal dates so there's not conflict?" Artie nodded. "Excellent," said Will, clapping his hands. "Let's get to work."

* * *

A familiar yet out of place brunette was pouring coffee for herself in the teacher's lounge when Will came in. He did a double take.

"Shelby? Is that you?" he asked. Shelby Corcoran turned around and smiled at him. "Hey!" she greeted him before giving him a hug.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm actually going to be teaching here now. I'm the new choir teacher."

"That's awesome! How'd you get this job? I thought you were living in New York."

_"Ms. Corcoran, your resume is impressive but I don't see what am I supposed to do with you," said Principal Figgins as Shelby sat patiently in front of his desk. "I'm afraid we don't have any positions available and even if we did, we don't have a salary to offer. I'm afraid my hands are tied."_

_"Then let me untie them," said Al Motta from the chair next to Shelby. His spoiled daughter was perched primly on the arm of his chair, leaning on him. "I want you to make Ms. Corcoran the new choir teacher and I want you to let her sponsor a glee club of her own. I'll take care of her salary and benefits."_

_"But Mr. Motta, we already have a glee club that will be representing us at the show choir competitions."_

_Al Motta waved his hand. "Oh, that one can join too if it wants," he said, completely missing the point._

After Shelby finished recapping her story, Will nodded slowly. "So I guess Sugar found her other show choir," he said quietly. Shelby put her hand on his shoulder. "Look, Will," she said. "I don't want any competition between us. I'm basically just here to give Al's daughter voice lessons. I don't want to stand in your glee club's way."

"It doesn't matter," assured Will. "I'm a supporter of the arts, no matter what."

* * *

"We can do this the hard way or the easy way: your choice," said Sheila as she tried to shove the freshman girl's head towards the toilet.

"But I only have two dollars!" she cried.

"Funny, we just need two dollars to leave you alone," smirked Quinn as she leaned against the stall door. Whimpering, the freshman reached into her pocket and forked over her money.

"Nice," nodded The Mack before shoving the girl's head into the toilet water and flushing.

"So nice to see the young people of America in the spirit of entrepreneurship," commented Sue dryly as she entered the girls' bathroom. The Skanks immediately stepped away from the coughing freshman girl who was desperately wiping her face of toilet water.

"Frosh, go to my office. Becky has a dry towel with your name on it," said Sue, pointing to the teary freshman girl. "And next time, just give them the money!" she added as the freshman girl fled in tears.

Sue then turned her attention to The Skanks. "As for the rest of you, report to Principal Figgins and accept your detention slips. And I'll know if you don't go."

The girls all made to leave but Sue stopped Quinn. "Hold on, Fabray. I want to talk you."

"I'm not on the Cheerios; I don't have to listen to you anymore," Quinn said coolly as she tried to brush past Sue.

"I think you'll want to listen to me," said Sue as she once again prevented Quinn from leaving. "As you may or may not know, I am running-"

"Running for Congress," finished Quinn. "I know. I watch Sue's Corner with my mom."

"I'm curious as to what your mother has to say about your new look."

"She thinks it's a phase," said Quinn as she looked into Sue's eyes pointedly. "It's not."

"I have to say, I feel sorry for you, Fabray. One time, a long time ago, you reminded me of a young Sue Sylvester."

"Well, I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not," spat out Quinn bitterly.

"You know what, Fabray? You can dye your hair with every package of Kool-Aid they stock at the Sack n' Save but you can't deny who you are."

"Look, if you're trying to get me to join the Glee club again, you can forget it."

"Join the Glee club? No, I want you to help me destroy it."

"I'm not doing anything for you," said Quinn as she tried to leave but Sue stopped her again.

"Actually you kind of have to, with that little stunt with the purple pianos you pulled last week. Now, you might not have noticed as you were probably under a haze of nicotine and whatever they call that stink under the bleachers-"

"It's a dead raccoon."

"-But you didn't get in trouble with Figgins for blatantly setting a piano on fire in front of at least twenty witnesses."

"So?"

"So I think it's safe to say that you owe me. Unless you want this on your permanent record and you can pretend to be Leather Tuscadero all you want Quinn, but we both know that you want to get into a good school and you don't want anything to jeopardize that."

Quinn stared hard at Sue, keeping her face impassive. "What do you want?"

Sue smiled. "Well, I'm making a video about how the arts ruins peoples' lives and I could use a few testimonies."

"Fine," agreed Quinn. "But in exchange, I want some couches under the bleachers for me and my friends. Standing all day looking intimidating while I smoke is tiring."

"Done," said Sue and she began to walk out the bathroom before Quinn's voice stopped her.

"Also I want you to write me a recommendation letter for my college applications-a flattering one."

"Sure thing, Fabray."

* * *

''So Kurt I was thinking about our campaign strategy and I thought of some new poster ideas. Do you mind taking a look?'' asked Brittany as she approached Kurt and Blaine at their table in the library. Kurt looked up from his copy of Harvey Milk's biography while Blaine continued to read _Election_by Tom Perrota.

Brittany beamed proudly as she handed Kurt a hot pink poster board decorated with glitter with Kurt's head pasted on top of a unicorn. Kurt swallowed as he tried to figure out a way to be polite. Blaine put down his book for a moment and gave a short whistle.

''That's-that is something Brittany,'' said Blaine as he tried not to laugh. Kurt shot him a dirty look.

''These are really nice Britt but I don't think I can use them,'' said Kurt kindly.

''You don't like them?'' asked Brittany.

''It's not that. It's just that I want to be taken seriously.''

''And you don't think I'm serious?''

''Yes. I mean no. I mean-''

''It's fine Kurt. I understand,'' said Brittany mournfully. ''I really wanted to help but I guess being a campaign manager is just something I can add to the things that I'm not good at. Like algebra and alligator wrestling.''

''No that's not it Britt,'' assured Kurt. ''Maybe there's another candidate your vision is more suited for". Brittany smiled softly and left, not before overhearing Blaine and Kurt talk about her behind her back.

''Yikes,'' said Blaine as Kurt nodded. ''God I don't know what she was thinking. I mean, who wants to be a unicorn?''

* * *

Puck finally ran into Quinn in the hallway after school.

''Where have you been?'' demanded Puck. ''I've been texting you all day.''

''Sorry but I've been busy,'' yawned Quinn.

''Yeah, busy throwing your life away,'' snorted Puck.

''If you and the Glee kids still want to stage an intervention, then would you mind doing it all together at the same time? I'm sick of everyone barging in on me and my friends under the bleachers at all hours of the day.''

''Hey," said Puck as he grabbed Quinn's arm. "You can pretend that you were never a cheerleader, that you were never in Glee club, and you can pretend that you never knew a Rachel Berry or a Santana Lopez but you can't pretend that you didn't know a Noah Puckerman. Because like it or not, you and I will always be connected to each other because we had a baby together-"

"No,_ I'm_ the one who had a baby," interrupted Quinn harshly. "_I'm _the one who gave her up. And I'm the one," Quinn's breath caught as she was about to cry. "Who's up all night, wondering about where she is and..." Quinn refused to say anymore. Puck gently turned her to face him.

"She's here now. Come with me. Shelby wants to see you. Us."

* * *

They entered Shelby's new classroom. She was adjusting some papers on her desk and looked up when she saw Puck and Quinn entered. She lit up when she saw them but her face quickly fell when she saw Quinn's new look.

"Quinn," said Shelby. "You look so much different from the last time I saw you."

"Well, this is who I am now," said Quinn. Puck nudged her. "You can drop the act," he told her.

"What do you want to talk to us about?" asked Quinn, ignoring him.

"I know that you said you wanted a closed adoption but I wanted to give you an opportunity to change your minds," said Shelby. "Years ago, when I was hired to be a surrogate, I made the decision to not be involved in my daughter's life too lightly. And as the years went by, I always wondered what she was up to and I couldn't sit around and wait for her to find me so, as you know, I did it myself. But that backfired on me. I thought I could waltz right in and we would somehow have this magical relationship but we didn't. It was horribly awkward and I hated myself for being so naive. But I don't want you guys to make the same mistakes that I did. So I'm giving you this opportunity to be in Beth's life. I don't want to cut you off and make you go through what I did. So do you want to, I don't know, come over and see her sometime?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Puck. He looked at Quinn. "I'd like that," she said quietly. Shelby frowned at Quinn's shabby clothing and the scent of cigarettes lingering on her.

"See, there's just one catch: I can't let you into Beth's life if you two aren't going to be good role models for her."

"I totally understand," nodded Puck. "I promise to stop all acts of bioterrorism and other juvenile shenanigans."

"I'm gonna get that in writing from you," said Shelby uneasily before turning to Quinn. "And you?"

"Where do you get off?" asked Quinn spitefully. "Telling me that I can see my daughter so long as I can follow your rules? She's a baby. She probably doesn't even remember yesterday "

"Well she's my daughter so I think I can decide who I want in her life and if you don't like it then-"

"Then what? Face it, Shelby. You can have all the papers in the world but I will always be Beth's mother. And when she grows up and she learns she's adopted, she's going to wonder about her real mom all the time. Just ask Rachel Berry. Oh, wait. You can't. Because you cut off contact with her even though she still wanted you in your life even though you didn't. Well, when Beth comes looking for me, that's one mistake of yours that I won't repeat."

With that, Quinn stormed out of the classroom.

* * *

Quinn's words stung Shelby as she realized how cruel she was being to Rachel, being back in town and not even having the courtesy to call. She found Rachel in the auditorium, as she suspected. Timidly, she approached the stage as Rachel flipped through her sheet music.

"Hey," she called out. Rachel turned to look at her and then quickly turn around again.

"What do you want?" she asked, not even looking at Shelby as she stepped onstage.

"I suppose you heard I'm back in town?"

"Actually, I did. It's nice to know the rankings you have for informing people things: my glee club director, my sort of ex-boyfriend and the father of your adopted daughter, and then me."

"Actually, I also told Quinn I was here too."

"Either way I'm last, aren't I?" snapped Rachel. "Why are you here? You basically told me at Regionals last year to leave you alone and that it was mistake contacting me."

"Rachel, I know I made some bad choices-"

"How could you do that to me?" said Rachel as she turned on Shelby. "Do you know how happy I was to finally meet you? And then you decided you'd rather have a baby than a full grown daughter instead. Well, I'm very happy for you but I wish you'd figured that out before getting my hopes up and then stomping all over them."

"I know. I'm sorry," apologized Shelby. "I know there's no amount of Lady Gaga-inspired dresses that I could sew to make it up to you but I am sorry. Very sorry. I do want to be a part of your life. Maybe not as big as you were hoping but I still want to be a part of it...what are you doing?"

"I'm picking out sheet music to audition with for _West Side Story_. I think I'm going to do _I Feel Pretty_. I've added it to my repertoire last year."

"No, no, no," said Shelby as she walked over to the music book. "Do you want this part?"

"Yes."

"Then you can't play it safe. If you want something really badly, you don't go for safe. You need to be daring and passionate. Why don't you do _Somewhere_?"

"Really, I think I can pick out my own sheet music-"

"Rachel, I've played Maria three times in my life and I never got the role by playing it safe. Besides, I think it's better for you vocally. It's strong and passionate yet it can be delicate at the same time."

Rachel smiled. "Will you rehearse with me?"

Shelby nodded.

_There's a place for us_  
_A time and place for us_  
_Hold my hand and we're halfway there_  
_Peace and quiet and open air_  
_Wait for us_

_Somehow_  
_Some way_  
_Somewhere_

_There's a time for us  
Some day a time for us  
Time together  
With time to spare  
Time to learn  
Time to care  
Someday_

_Somewhere!_

_Shelby was right, _thought Rachel as she sang her heart out for the theater director. _This was the perfect song._

* * *

_"Meet Quinn Fabray," narrated Sue. "Quinn Fabray used to be on top of the world; she had it all: good friends, captain of the cheerleading squad, president of the abstinence club, and dating the high school quarterback. But now she's alone. Smoking, skipping class, dressing like a bag lady..._

_What happened to this nice, pleasant girl? What happened to you, Quinn?'_

_"The arts happened to me," said Quinn in a monotone voice. "It ruined my life."_

_"How the mighty have fallen. Watch Quinn as she ends her day with the only thing that will take the edge off-smoking cornstarch-"_

_"Wait, what?"_

"Cut!" interrupted Becky. "Punky Brewster forgot her lines, Coach."

"That's okay, Becky," said Sue as she led Quinn to Mr. Shue's office. "Come on, Quinn, just like we rehearsed it and you'll get what you want."

Mr. Shue looked confused as Quinn approached him.

"Can I help you Quinn?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to say that..." Quinn looked back at Sue before sighing. "I used to have everything-I was the prettiest and the most popular girl in school and then I joined Glee club and it all went to hell. So thanks a lot."

"Quinn, you know that's not what happened. I know you're angry at the way your life has turned out but if you let me help you-"

"I'm not coming back to Glee club. Ever. Okay? So stop trying! I'm sick of everybody bothering me and coming up to me and telling me that I need to come back, that I'm throwing my life away-"

"But you are!" said Will angrily. He stood up from behind his desk suddenly, slightly frightening Quinn. "Quinn, when are you going to get this through your head? We care about you! We keeping bothering you because we don't want to lose you! You may not be the most popular girl in school anymore but you still matter to us. And do you think hanging around with juvenile delinquents and doing whatever it is you're doing with Sue is going to make you feel better? It's not! Because deep down, Quinn you know that those people are just using you for what you can give them and when you're tired of stealing lunch money or being a poster child for a vicious campaign, those people are just going to leave you with nothing.

This isn't you, Quinn, no matter how many times you say it is. Because the Quinn Fabray I know doesn't give up on school or on Glee club or on anything because she has better things to do than play the victim. And the Quinn Fabray I know would love the chance to see her daughter again. Shelby told me that she wants you in Beth's life. Don't be stubborn, Quinn. Don't miss out on the greatest moments in your life because you're stuck in a bad phase."

With that, Will took his papers and stormed out of his office. Quinn stood still and Sue broke the silence.

"And, cut. Oh, dammit. Would you look at that? My lens cap was on the whole time. Becky, is any of the sound salvageable?"

"That was pretty sexy," said Becky as she looked off into the direction Will left.

"Oh well. I guess we'll have to reschedule some other time, Fabray," said Sue. Quinn shook her head and turned around.

"No," she said. "He's right. You're just using me. You were never there for me but I keep crawling back to you and I don't know why. I'm done here. Find some other victim of the arts because I'm not one of them."

With that, Quinn also stormed out. Sue sighed. "It's tragic when an addict relapses."

* * *

The doorbell rang at Shelby's apartment at eight o'clock that night. Shelby was confused as to who could it be since she still had relatively few friends in town but she answered the door and there was Puck and Quinn standing on her doorstep. Quinn's pink hair was now mostly blonde and she was wearing a pink striped dress and a cardigan with ballet flats.

"Hey," said Puck. "I hope it's okay that we just stopped by."

"We didn't have your number, otherwise we would have called first," said Quinn. Shelby nodded.

"Your hair-"

"I know. I tried to bleach it myself but I didn't get all of the pink out. My mom's taking me to the salon later this week to get it fixed. Also, I'm not smoking anymore. See?" Quinn rolled up her sleeve and showed off a nude nicotine patch. "I never liked cigarettes that much anyway."

"And I," said Puck. "Have my most recent drug test that proves I'm clean. Also, here is a notarized note that promises I won't get into any more trouble."

"How did you even know where I lived?" asked Shelby,

"I have friends in law enforcement," said Puck vaguely. Quinn noticed the playpen in the background. "Can we come in?" she asked.

Shelby nodded and led them towards the kitchen. "Now I know I said that I want you both in Beth's life but on my terms-you can't barge in anytime you want. Call first and ask me. I'll give you my number later."

Quinn nodded. "So what happened?" asked Shelby. "What made you change your mind?"

"I realized how stupid I was being," admitted Quinn. "That new look wasn't me. I was just angry and sad and confused so I acted out."

"Did you get a tattoo?" asked Shelby knowingly. Quinn nodded.

"Ryan Seacrest on my lower back. I'm getting it removed."

"David Lee Roth, same place. I got that removed too." All of them laughed but Shelby's face became serious again.

"I know what you were going through, Quinn. After I gave up Rachel, I went through a similar phase. I tried to tell myself that I didn't care, that I was tough, and nothing could touch me but I was wrong. I was lying to myself and I'm thankful that my friends and family snapped me out of it. And I'm glad both of you accepted my offer but I want to remind you what a huge commitment this is. This is a huge deal so I-"

Shelby was interrupted by Beth's cries.

"Oh, she's awake," she said offhandedly. Shyly, Puck and Quinn followed her as Shelby went over to Beth's playpen and picked up the wailing child who immediately stopped when she was in her mother's arms.

"God, she looks just like you," said Puck to Quinn as he looked at his year old daughter with wonderment and amazement.

"And you too," said Quinn generously but it couldn't be denied that with her fair hair and hazel eyes, Beth resembled Quinn first and foremost. "She's so amazing. Can I-"

"I drew a picture for her," interrupted Puck as he fished out a folded piece of construction paper from his pocket. "It was supposed to be a clown but it kinda looks like a pig. I was thinking you can hang it on the fridge or something and she can look at it and think of me. You don't think it'll scare her, do you?"

"I think she'll be fine," laughed Shelby. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Can we?" asked Quinn. Shelby handed Beth to her first. Quinn almost cried which was Puck's cue to hold his daughter.

"Hi, Beth," he told her. "I'm Puck and this is Quinn. We're your parents."

* * *

Kurt stepped onto the bare stage and into the spotlight.

"Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel and I will be auditioning for the role for Tony with the seminal (and semi-autobiographical) song _I'm the Greatest Star _as performed by Barbara Streisand in the musical _Funny Girl._"

The theater director Mr. Michael Hollomon, a pretentious looking man dressed in black with a goatee, exchanged glances with Artie and Shelby, who as choir director, would be involved in the musical.

"Now I know what you're thinking," said Kurt. "But don't worry. I already got permission from Rachel Berry to sing this song. And I'd like to thank my dad for helping me build my scaffolding."

"Okay, Kurt whenever you're ready," said Mr. Hollomon. Kurt smiled and began to sing.

_I'm the greatest star_  
_I am by far_  
_But no one knows it_  
_That's why I was born_  
_I'll blow my horn_  
_Till someone blows in_  
_I gotta break the lights_  
_Gotta flash of light_  
_I'll flicker then flare up!_  
_All the world's gonna stare up!_  
_Looking down, you'll never see me,_  
_Try the sky cause that'll be me!_

_I can make 'em cry!_  
_I can make 'em sigh!_  
_Someday, they'll clamor for my drama_  
_Have you guessed yet?_  
_Who's the best yet?_

_If you ain't I'll tell ya one more time._  
_You bet your last dime_  
_In all of the world so far_  
_I am the greatest, greatest star!_

Kurt finished his song by twirling his sai swords wildly and the three panelists cheered wildly for him. Kurt beamed, certain he got the role.

However, later, when the panelists were deliberating he would see that this was not the case.

"Look," said Mr. Hollomon. "I know I said I didn't want to direct the typical production of _West Side Story _but that song did not prove to me that Kurt could play Tony."

"Well, you did tell the auditionees that they could sing whatever song they wanted so long as it captured their character," pointed out Artie.

"Yeah but that song wasn't Tony. It was Kurt Hummel singing as Kurt Hummel," disagreed Shelby. "Look, that was a great performance, no doubt about it. But we're not doing _Funny Girl._ He should've picked something more appropriate for the role. I used to act professionally and whatever role I was trying to play, I would sing something that would let the director know that I could play the character, not just because I sang it well. If I wanted to play Elphaba, I would sing _Defying Gravity. _If I wanted to be Maureen Johnson in _RENT_, I would sing something like _Take Me or Leave Me. _Et cetera, et cetera. I don't think Kurt has what it takes to be Tony."

"Okay, we'll leave that for now," said Artie. "How about Maria?"

"Rachel Berry was very good," nodded Mr. Hollomon. "So much emotion and heart in her song."

"I don't think I should vote for that role," said Shelby. "I have to admit that I helped her with her song so this is a little bit of a conflict of interest for me. Artie, what did you think?"

"Rachel is the obvious choice," agreed Artie. "But when Mercedes sang _I Feel Pretty, _it was just such an amazing rendition-"

"I know!" exclaimed Mr. Hollomon. "I feel if Rachel sang it, she would sound and look like Natalie Wood. But you know, if I wanted to watch Natalie Wood, I'd watch the movie. Mercedes had such a fresh take on it. Who knew you could bring soul into _I Feel Pretty_?"

"I think we should hold off casting it and hold another round of callbacks for the girls," suggested Shelby. The other men agreed.

"Now back to Tony," began Artie.

"While I agree that Kurt Hummel is talented...Well Tony's supposed to be a gang leader," said Mr. Hollomon.

"A former gang leader," reminded Shelby.

"Not that former," retorted Mr. Hollomon. "I think we should hold off casting that part as well. Now, I think Kurt could make a good Jet or maybe even Officer Krupke. Or play Anybodys. He said he could do a New York accent in his application, didn't he?"

"Yes he did," confirmed Artie. "And as much as I hate to agree because I'm a firm believer in unconventional casting...Kurt is just too delicate for the part."

Unbeknownst to them, Kurt was eavesdropping from the catwalk above and he looked crushed as he heard their comments.

"Now let's talk Santana Lopez: she's an Anita if I ever saw one," Mr. Hollomon was saying as Kurt fled in tears.

* * *

Kurt was in an already depressed state of mind so when he walked through the halls of McKinley, he was not amused to see another pink unicorn poster hanging on the wall. Sighing, he tore it down and carried it over to Brittany who was hanging up more with the help of Santana.

"Brittany, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. "I told you I didn't want this for my campaign!"

"I know Kurt," she responded. "This is for mine."

"What?"

"Look, Porcelain," snapped Santana. "It's not you on the posters, it's Brittany. Look."

Kurt examined the poster closely and saw that it wasn't his face on a unicorn's body, but Brittany's.

"You told me that I should find a candidate that my vision is more suited for and whose vision am I more suited for than my own?" said Brittany.

"But-but-but-"

"I hear what you said, Kurt. You may be afraid of being a unicorn, but I'm not. Well, technically I'm a bi-corn but the point is, Santana helped me see that I shouldn't compromise who I am just to make others happy. So I'm running for senior class president and my platform will be more spirit dress up days, more fundraising for all teams and clubs, and getting rid of that dead raccoon stink under the bleachers. I hope I can count on your vote."

With that, Santana and Brittany left Kurt alone in the hallway. Tears stung his eyes. _Great! I'm going to lose the presidency and I'm going to lose Tony, _he thought. Then he saw Rachel out of the corner of his eye.

"Rachel!" cried Kurt as he grabbed his friend by the shoulders. "I need to re- audition with Tony and you have to help me."

"Say no more!"

* * *

"Okay, next we have Tina Cohen-Chang," said Artie but when he looked up, it wasn't Tina up on stage but Kurt. Mr. Hollomon and Shelby gave Artie a strange look.

"Kurt what are you doing here?" he asked Kurt.

"I was thinking about it and maybe my song selection didn't quite capture the essence of Tony so I'm going to show you that I can be Tony with my acting skills. Miss Rachel Berry will now assist me in a scene from Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_, the play _West Side Story _was based off of."

"Um, okay?" said Mr. Hollomon uncertainly

"May I just add that I only read this scene once ten minutes ago and I'm already off book?" piped up Rachel. Kurt shot her a dirty look. "And scene!" he called out before beginning.

Rachel had the first lines.

_Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day:_  
_It was the nightingale, and not the lark,_  
_That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;_  
_Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree:_  
_Believe me, love, it was the nightingale._

Kurt brushed her off and said,

_It was the lark, the herald of the morn,_  
_No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks_  
_Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east:_  
_Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day_  
_Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops._  
_I must be gone and live, or stay and die._

Rachel replied,

_Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I:_  
_It is some meteor that the sun exhales,_  
_To be to thee this night a torch-bearer,_  
_And light thee on thy way to Mantua:_  
_Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not to be gone._

Kurt began,  
_Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death;_  
_I am content, so thou wilt have it so._  
_I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye,_  
_'Tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow-_

"Uh, thank you!" called out Mr. Hollomon. "I think we've heard enough."

"But I didn't finish," said Kurt, starting to panic.

"Uh, why don't you read one of the sides for Tony?" asked Artie, looking to Mr. Hollomon for approval but he shook his head.

"I'm really sorry Kurt," said the director. "That was great but we have a lot of people to see. Could you guys clear the stage? Artie, can you tell Tina to come in now?"

* * *

"You weren't there, it was like they couldn't stand to have me in there one more second," Kurt was saying to Finn and Burt as they fixed a car.

"Maybe they just had a lot of people to see," said Finn. "I know Puck told me when he went that there was a lot of people auditioning."

"And I bet one of those people will be Tony and I will be stuck as Officer Krupke. I mean, he doesn't even have a song in the musical! And he's in like, what two scenes?" complained Kurt.

"Hey, what's with the pity party?" demanded Burt. "Kurt, if you're not right for the part, you're not right for the part. You shouldn't have to change who you are just to land a role."

"But Dad, if I do that then I will only get to be gay characters or maybe a female character if the director is feeling unconventional," pointed out Kurt. "I don't want to be pigeonholed for all of my life."

"Kurt, you're one of the most unique kids I've ever seen in my life," said Burt. "You shouldn't let being gay beat you down. That's just who you are. Don't be ashamed by the fact that you're not like everyone else. You're like a, a-"

"A unicorn?" ventured Kurt. Burt shrugged.

"Sure, let's go with that."

"Brittany was right," said Kurt. "I am a unicorn and I shouldn't be hiding who I am just to please Mr. Hollomon. If I'm not Tony, then I'm not Tony."

"That's very mature of you, Kurt," said Burt.

"I know," replied Kurt. "I hate it."

* * *

"Five, six, seven, eight!" called out Mike as he led all of New Directions in a new jazz combination. To everyone's surprise, Quinn entered the choir room.

"Hey, Quinn," greeted Mr. Shue. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to be back in Glee club," she said. "I realized how stupid I was being and I want to thank all of you for not giving up on me. But I want to be in my daughter's life and I don't want to make any more stupid decisions and you guys have always been there for me. I'm sorry for being so mean to you guys when you were trying to help."

"It's all good, Quinn," said Mercedes as she went over to give her friend a hug. "I'm just happy you're not a Skank anymore."

"The Unholy Trinity is back in action," beamed Brittany as she went over to give Quinn a hug.

"So what do you say Mr. Shue? Can I come back?" asked Quinn. Mr. Shue nodded and smiled.

"It's good to have you back. But you have some catching up to do," he told her. "We need to up our dancing skills so why don't you come up to the front and Mike can teach you to combination."

Quinn obeyed and as she moved past Puck, he lightly tapped her arm.

"It's good to have you back," he told her.

"It's good to _be _back."

* * *

Back in the auditorium, Mr. Hollomon, Shelby and Artie were discussing Sue's campaign.

"Did you hear? Sue Sylvester climbed up nine points last night in the polls," he said.

"I can't believe how popular she's getting. They need to get someone good to run against her, someone who supports the arts," said Shelby, shaking her head.

"I just wish I was old enough to vote," said Artie. "Then I could make some difference."

"Okay, enough politics," said Mr. Hollomon. "Let's bring in Blaine Anderson."

"Blaine come on out!" yelled out Artie. Blaine entered the stage and said, "Hi, I'm Blaine Anderson and I will be singing _Something's Coming_" before he opened his mouth to sing.

_Could be! _  
_Who knows? _  
_There's something due any day; _  
_I will know right away, _  
_Soon as it shows. _  
_It may come cannonballing down through the sky, _  
_Gleam in its eye, _  
_Bright as a rose!_

_Who knows? _  
_It's only just out of reach, _  
_Down the block, on a beach, _  
_Under a tree. _  
_I got a feeling there's a miracle due, _  
_Gonna come true, _  
_Coming to me!_

_Could it be? Yes, it could. _  
_Something's coming, something good, _  
_If I can wait! _  
_Something's coming, I don't know what it is, _  
_But it is _  
_Gonna be great!_

After he finished, the three panelists clapped wildly. Kurt, who was watching from the catwalk above, smiled at his boyfriend's success.

"That was fantastic!" exclaimed Shelby but Mr. Hollomon frowned. "Blaine, I'm curious if you would might be interested in maybe auditioning for Tony?"

Blaine's face was a fixture of surprise, confusion, and flattery. Kurt left, knowing that Blaine wouldn't be able to resist saying yes and Mr. Hollomon wouldn't be able to resist giving him the part.

* * *

A/N: Yeah I decided to delete the Quinn gets her baby back subplot. I thought it was really dumb. Also, Mercedes has gone to a VA hang out where Puck tried to infect which gives a little foreshadowing to why she was sick in Asian F. Feel free to PM and ask me why I did this or that. Oh, and I think Mercedes' audition would have sounded like this: /watch?v=gOFSLqE5g1w


	3. Asian F

CHAPTER 3: ASIAN F

"Five, six, seven, eight!" called out Mike as he led the group through their latest combination. The New Directions moved along with him, with Finn stumbling slightly. Mercedes hurried in, saying, "Sorry, I'm late."

The group stopped to look at her. "Where have you been?" demanded Santana.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" asked Mercedes, confused.

"If you had been on time," said Mr. Shue. "You would have known that Santana has decided to rejoin us."

"I decided that being in Glee was more important than being captain," she said. "Partly because Glee is more fun and partly because Coach Sylvester just made me pick up her dry cleaning all week and said part of the captainship would be running errands for her."

"Mercedes, if you were going to be late you should have called," said Mr. Shue sternly. Mercedes nodded.

"I know Mr. Shue but I was feeling kind of queasy after sixth period so I went to the nurse's office to lie down and I guess I fell asleep. But I'm here now, so what did I miss?"

"We're practicing the Widowmaker," said Mike. "It's a new dance move we're learning."

He demonstrated and the others followed. Mercedes tried to follow their example but she was a little slower than even Finn.

"Again!"

The move was a catwalk to the right, then a ball change, a fan kick, then a pivot step, and finishing with a pencil turn.

"Again!"

Mercedes tried to keep up with the group but since she was late, she didn't get the opportunity the others did to go through the steps one by one with Mike like the others did.

"One more time! Mercedes, keep your back bent when you do the catwalk!"

Mercedes tried to follow Mike's direction but her stomach felt queasy again and she broke from formation and dry heaved over the trash can next to the piano. Everyone stopped to look at her in concern.

"Mercedes, are you alright?" asked Will, concerned.

"Come on Mr. Shue, she's faking it," complained Santana. "She probably ate at Quizno's for lunch or something."

"Oh, like you eat!" snapped back Mercedes. She turned back to her teacher. "Mr. Shue, I really don't feel well. Can I sit this one out?"

"Mercedes, we need to start preparing for Nationals every moment we have. Are you sure you don't feel well?"

"Mr. Shue you know I wouldn't ask unless I really, really didn't feel good."

"Please, stop making excuses Mercedes," scoffed Santana. "The Cheerios once performed at Regionals with food poisoning. Don't baby her, Mr. Shue."

"I'm doing my best!" snarled Mercedes.

"Well your best isn't good enough—"

"Who made you the director? You just rejoined so I don't think anyone should be listening to you."

"Hey, calm down!" interrupted Mr. Shue. "That's enough out of the both of you. Santana, you're not running this Glee club; I am. And you're still on shaky ground, young lady so don't point fingers at other people. Mercedes, if you want to sit out this session, okay. But don't expect me to take it easy on you all the time. You're one of the people who needs the most work so don't expect a free pass next time."

Mercedes nodded and left.

* * *

"Hey, are these yours?" asked Will of Emma, holding up a series of outdated bridal magazines. Emma blushed.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," she said hurriedly. "No, those are old. When I was planning my wedding with Carl and I must have forgotten to thrown them out—"

"These are dated from two months ago."

"Uh, I must have forgotten to cancel my subscription. I'll throw those out." Emma took the magazines from Will and was about to toss them into the trash when Will stopped her.

"I really liked the cake you bookmarked on page 112," he told her gently. "Very cute."

"I'm sorry," she told him. "I don't want to pressure you into anything. I'm mean, you're divorced and I just ended a serious relationship and we really should talk about where we're going before we talk about weddings and stuff like that—"

"I completely agree," said Will as he sat down at the kitchen table. Emma joined him. "So let's talk about where we're going and stuff."

"Okay."

There was an awkward pause and then Will laughed.

"Do you want me to start? Okay, here it goes. I love you, Emma. And I can definitely see us getting married down the line."

"I feel the same way too!"

"And that's great but I don't want to rush into anything. I want to know more about you and your family and where you've been in your life."

"I visited Vancouver when I was in my twenties once. Very clean city."

"Not stuff like that," said Will as he took her hands. "Like, more about how your family shaped who you are. How come you never talk about your parents? I know you have a brother—"

"I'm not very close with my family, Will so don't worry about that."

"Come on. You've met my parents. We were over at their house for the Fourth of July but I don't even know what your parents look like. I want to meet them! Have you told them about us?"

"Will, really—"

"Come on, I just want to meet them. What's so bad about that? Do they embarrass you?"

Emma sighed. "Okay, I can see that this is something you feel very strongly about so…if you want, I can invite my parents to come over for dinner sometime this week."

"Awesome! I can't wait to meet them!"

Emma gave him a tight smile. "Oh, you'll wish you waited."

* * *

Principal Figgins was behind his desk, in an appointment with Mr. Michael Chang Sr. and his son, Mike.

"Mr. Chang, while I am glad to see parents taking an interest in their child's education, I still don't understand why you made an appointment. Mike hasn't done anything wrong."

"Oh but he has," corrected Michael Chang Sr. He pulled out Mike's latest progress report and showed it to Principal Figgins. "As you can see, my son has received an B in chemistry and I would like for you to arrange for drug testing to be done to find the source of the problem."

"Mr. Chang, I think you are overreacting. An B is still a very good grade and this is only a progress report. Mike has plenty of time to bring it back up before the actual report cards go through. Sometimes children's' grades lower because they are overextending themselves. Maybe Mike can focus less on extracurriculars and attend after school tutoring."

"Tutoring is for kids who are failing!" protested Mike.

"And what, you think you're not on the path to failure?" said Michael Chang Sr. sharply. "A B leads to C which leads to a D which leads to an F, Michael. And F is for failure. Do you want to be a failure?"

"No Dad," mumbled Mike.

"I think you're right about the extracurriculars, Principal Figgins," said Michael Chang Sr. "I think my son has been spending way too much time with his girlfriend and Glee club. I think he could benefit from a break from both."

"But Dad I love Tina! And Glee club is fun for me!" protested Mike.

"Fun doesn't make it onto your extracurriculars Do you want to get into Harvard or not?"

"Actually, Mr. Chang, with all due respect, universities these days want to see students with more varied and colorful resumes," interrupted Principal Figgins. "Mike here has been a Glee club member since his sophomore year. It looks very good considering his other interests are football and he won Nationals with the academic decathlon team last year."

"And I want to do the school musical," added Mike. "Come on Dad, I'll just work on managing my time better."

"I've told you before, the answer is no," said Michael Chang Sr. sternly. "If you can bring up your grade, you can stay in the Glee club but no musical. The arts are a waste of time and you need to put better things on your resume. Let's go."

* * *

"Good luck at callbacks," Rachel told Mercedes. "You too," responded Mercedes and the two girls hugged before going their separate ways. Shane Tinsley, who saw everything, went up to his girlfriend.

"Baby what are you doing?" he asked her.

"What? I was just hugging Rachel."

"Exactly. Aren't you two competing for Maria in the school musical?"

"Yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know about you but before I go into a game, I don't fraternize with my enemy."

"Shane, stop. Rachel and I aren't like that."

"I'm serious, 'Cedes. That's how people get into your head: by pretending to be nice and then they start giving you back handed compliments and then they start making you feel like you aren't worth it. Mercedes, I don't want that to happen with you. You told me everybody thinks Rachel Berry is a star but here's your chance to prove that you can shine even brighter than her. She's trying to mess with your head. Don't say I didn't warn you."

He gave his girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. "I gotta get to class. Have a good day, baby."

"You too," said Mercedes softly as she weighed his words. Her eyes followed Rachel who was walking down the hall at her perky, purposeful pace. Mercedes went to class andsoftly sang in her mind, pretending she was onstage in a black cocktail dress.

_Are you a friend who loves__  
__And cherishes__  
__And cares for me?_

_Is that you? Is that you?__  
__Is that you? yeah,__  
__Are you a guard in a prison__  
__Maximum security?__Do we stay home all the time__  
__Cause you want me to yourself?__  
__Or am I locked away__  
__Out of fear that I'd find__  
__Someone else?__Well, I don't like__  
__Living under your spotlight__  
__Just because you think__  
__I might find somebody worthy_

_Oh, I don't like__  
__Living under your spotlight__  
__Baby, if you treat me right__  
__You won't have to worry__Is this a relationship__  
__Fulfilling your needs__  
__Or is this just my sentence__  
__Am I doing time?_

_If this is love__  
__Real, real love__  
__Then I'm staying no doubt__  
__But if I'm just love prisoner__  
__Then I'm busting out__  
_

Mercedes ended her song in Glee club watching Rachel rehearse _I Feel Pretty _from _West Side Story_. She stood up from her chair.

"Rachel, do you want to rehearse together?" she asked.

"Sure," said Rachel, smiling. "I'd love to know how I'd sound with back-up vocals."

* * *

"Hey, Mike are you okay?" asked Tina of her boyfriend in the hallway. "You've been so quiet all day."

"I'm fine," he told her as he opened his locker. Tina put her hand on his shoulder.

"If something's bothering you, you know you can talk to me," she said softly.

"I got a B on my progress report."

"An Asian F? What did your dad say?"

"My dad was pissed. He wanted me to quit Glee club but I convinced him not to but I still have to find a way to bring my grade up."

"Well that's good. Can you still do the musical?"

"No, I can't. He said no."

"But we've been rehearsing all week!" protested Tina. "The last day of tryouts is today and they're already starting callbacks. I thought you wanted to play Riff."

"I did but now I can't."

"There's got to be a way we can convince him-"

"No, there's not, Tina!" Mike slammed his locker door shot. "My parents aren't like yours. They're super strict about everything. I had to beg to be allowed to join Glee club and the only reason my dad let me join football is because _he_ likes it. I'm not joining the musical and that's it."

"But Mike that's so unfair! Why can't you do what you want to for once?"

"Because that's just not how it works in my family. You don't get it. Your family supports you and mine doesn't."

"Mike if they just saw you dancing, they'd understand—"

"No, they wouldn't!" he snapped. Tina stared at him for a moment. Mike sighed and leaned his head against his locker door. "They just want what's best for me," he said, more to himself. Tina grabbed his shoulder so he'd face her.

"If they want what's best for you, then they would want you to be happy. You need to stand up to your dad and tell him he can't keep you from what you love. Besides, there's no one in this school that I can imagine being Riff except you."

"I don't even know if I'll get it," muttered Mike.

"Just audition! You'll never know if you don't try."

Mike looked at his girlfriend for a moment and then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go. I need to get to class."

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and left Tina behind. On the other side of the hallway, Kurt was pinning up his latest campaign poster which was an understated but professional looking photo of himself with the caption, "KURT HUMMEL: THE FACE OF CHANGE."

"Nice poster, Kurt," said Brittany as she approached him. Santana was with her.

"Thanks," he told her. "How's your campaign coming along?"

"It's pretty good so far. I thought you should know that we took an informal poll and so far, you're in the lead."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but not for long," smirked Santana. "You see, Britt's going to be the first female senior class president since 1998."

"Yeah but how's she going to do that if I'm in the lead?"

"By appealing to the female vote. Brittany?"

Brittany smiled and turned around and called out,

_Girls, we run this mother!__  
__Who run the world? Girls! __  
__Who run this motha? Girls! __  
__Who run the world? Girls!__Some of them men think they freak this like we do__  
__But no they don't__  
__Make your cheques come at they neck,__  
__Disrespect us no they won't__Boy don't even try to touch this _she sang to Kurt as some Cheerios stepped forward to be her back up dancers.

_Boy this beat is crazy__  
__This is how they made me__  
__Houston, Texas baby__  
__This goes out to all my girls__  
__That's in the club rocking the latest__  
__Who will buy it for themselves and get more money later__My persuasion can build a nation__  
__Endless power, our love we can devour__  
__You'll do anything for me__Who run the world? Girls! __  
__Who run this motha? Girls! __  
__Who run the world? Girls! _Brittany performed the number again at an after school pep rally that Santana arranged. Kurt sat in the bleachers, motionless as the rest of the female student body whooped wildly.

"Thank you," said a panting Brittany. "My name is Brittany S. Pierce and I want to be senior class president. Please vote for me!"

The thunderous roar that followed told Kurt that the masses would obey.

* * *

Mike was waiting in line in the hallway outside the auditorium with the other people hoping to get cast, among them Quinn, Brittany, some of his fellow football players, Rachel, Mercedes, and a new Irish kid that Brittany seemed to know.

Artie wheeled out of the auditorium and checked his clipboard. "Okay, Mike Chang? You're next."

Mike followed him into the auditorium but he couldn't get his father's words out of his head. _"Michael", _Mike imagined him saying as he walked past the empty rows of seats. _"Dancing has no way of supporting you. Turn around and walk out."_

"_Don't!" _said Tina's voice in his head. _"Don't run from your passion, Mike. Dancing is your life and you can't stop just because of your father."_

"Mike?"

"Huh?" asked Mike, shaken out of his daze.

"What role are you auditioning for?" asked Artie.

"For Riff," said Mike confidently.

Artie peered at him over the top of his glasses. "You know that's a singing part, right?"

"Don't worry about it," smiled Mike.

He went on stage and stepped into the spotlight, his heart beating fast.

"Hello, Mike," greeted Mr. Hollomon. "What have you got for us today?"

"I'm going to be singing _Cool_."

"Whenever you're ready, kid."

Mike took a deep breath and then began to sing and dance.

_Boy, boy, crazy boy,__  
Get cool, boy!__  
Got a rocket in your pocket,__  
Keep coolly cool, boy!__  
Don't get hot,__  
'Cause man, you got__  
Some high times ahead.__  
Take it slow and Daddy-O,__  
You can live it up and die in bed!_

_Boy, boy, crazy boy!_

_Stay loose, boy!__  
Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it.__  
Turn off the juice, boy!__  
Go man, go,__  
But not like a yo-yo schoolboy.  
Just play it cool, boy,__  
Real cool!_

Mike finished and the three panelists began clapping wildly.

"That was absolutely kick in your face fantastic!" cried Mr. Hollomon enthusiastically. "I loved your singing and I loved your dancing. You are so talented, are you planning to be a dance major in college?"

Mike took a moment to catch his breath. "Yeah, I think I am."

"Well, good luck to you."

* * *

"We want to thank you girls for coming in again," said Mr. Hollomon to Rachel and Mercedes as they stood side by side in the auditorium facing him, Shelby, and Artie.

"So we have to try out again?" asked Mercedes, confused.

"It's called a callback," said Rachel in a know-it-all tone. "With an iconic role like Maria, they can't just appear to be giving me the part."

"Actually, Rachel," said Shelby. "We really could not decide between the two of you. On one hand, you Rachel are the epitome of a classic Maria, like Natalie Wood—"

"But if we wanted to watch Natalie Wood, we would just the film version," finished Mr. Hollomon. Rachel's face fell and Mercedes smiled slightly.

"And you Mercedes," said Shelby. "You breathe new life into the role but we worry that your unique voice might clash with the traditional style of the music."

"So, this Thursday, we'd like to have the ultimate Maria-off to decide for the role," said Artie. "I want to remind you that no matter what happens, you guys are absolutely fantastic."

"So what is our song selection going to be?" asked Rachel, standing up straight.

"Well, you both sang very different songs from each other that captured Maria's spirit. Mercedes you sang a very jazzy _I Feel Pretty _and Rachel you sang a very powerful _Somewhere_," said Mr. Hollomon. "So for your callbacks, we'd like you to switch to see if you can play all aspects of Maria: the fun and light hearted naïve girl and then the mature, strong woman she becomes in the end. So Rachel, you will sing _I Feel Pretty_—"

"Yes!" said Rachel, clapping her hands. "It's in the bag," she told Mercedes smugly.

"And Mercedes, you will sing _Somewhere_."

"Gee, a powerful ballad," said Mercedes innocently as she gave Rachel a smile. "How perfect for me."

"We'll see you girls on Thursday," said Artie, dismissing them.

* * *

The Glee club was stretching on the auditorium floor, preparing for another session of Booty Camp. Kurt was stretching near Rachel who was nervously babbling to Finn about her callback tomorrow.

"I just keep rehearsing it over and over and it doesn't sound right," she was saying when Blaine approached Kurt.

"Um, Kurt?" he said. "Can I talk to you for a sec before we start?"

"Sure thing."

The two went off the side of the stage and Blaine took a deep breath before he spoke.

"So Artie told me that the cast list is going to go up pretty soon and I have a confession to make: I auditioned for Tony, not Riff."

"I know."

"You do?" Blaine's eyes widened in surprise. "How?"

"I was watching your audition from the catwalk," admitted Kurt. "You were great. In fact, I spied on everyone who was auditioning for Tony and not one of them are even close to being in the same league as you. Not even me."

"And you're not mad?"

"No. I was at first, but then I realized that no one else could do the part justice except for you. I'm so proud of you." Kurt gave him a kiss and Blaine smiled and hugged him. "I'm so relieved that you're not mad. It's just that they asked me to and I couldn't say no—"

"Don't worry about it," said Kurt. "I think I'm a cinch for Anybody's so at least we'll be in the same gang together."

Blaine laughed as Mr. Shuester called them over. "Guys? We're starting!"

Kurt and Blaine joined the group who already formed two rows facing Mike and Mr. She.

"Okay before we begin," said Mr. Shue. "I just want to say that Mike and I are really impressed by your progress but we still got a long way to go. But first things first: we're going to make sure everyone has mastered the Widowmaker. So what we're going to do today is—"

The auditoriums doors banged open, interrupting him. It was Mercedes rushing down the steps.

"I'm sorry I'm late! I had a doctor's appointment. I had, like, this really weird stomach flu but he gave me some antibiotics so I'm feeling much better now. I think I ate a weird smoothie or something."

"Okay Mercedes but you knew we had Booty Camp after school," said Mr. Shue. "Why didn't you schedule your appointment for a different time?"

"I'm sorry," said Mercedes as she went up the stage's steps. "I completely forgot."

"How could you forget?" said Santana. "We've been rehearsing all week."

"Well, I've had other things on my mind," snapped Mercedes.

"Mercedes if you're talking about the Maria callback, I'm just as preoccupied as you but I didn't forget my other commitments," pointed out Rachel. Mercedes glared at her and opened her mouth to shoot back a comment but Mr. Shue stopped her before an argument could ensue.

"Look, we're wasting time here and the orchestra has their fall concert tonight so we need to get this done before we give up the space," said Mr. Shue as he stepped forward, thrusting his arms out like a referee. "Mercedes, we're about to all do the Widowmaker together and if we tap you out, that means you got the move down and you can take a seat before we move on. Got it?"

"Yes," chorused the New Directions.

"Five, six, seven, eight!" called out Mike. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…"

Mike kept calling out the beat as Mr. Shue went around tapping out people. Brittany was first, followed by Santana, Blaine, Kurt, Puck, Tina, and Artie (although he was mostly just twirling in his wheelchair) so that Lauren, Finn, and Mercedes were the final three remaining.

"Come on Lo, you got this!" said Puck as he clapped his girlfriend on. "Go Finn!" added Rachel.

With some effort, Finn mastered the move and then Lauren was tapped out just as Mercedes completed her pencil turn, except her foot twisted weirdly which caused her to fall.

"Whoa, are you okay?" said Lauren as she helped Mercedes up. Mercedes shook her head.

"My ankle hurts," she complained as she stood up. "Come on, push through it," said Mr. Shue as he went over to her.

"I don't feel good—"

"Yes, you do. Come on now. Stop making excuses. Just do the move. You're fine!"

"No, I'm not!" insisted Mercedes, having enough. Mr. Shue sighed.

"Look, Mercedes, I know you can be on the same level as everyone else but you're not trying hard enough—"

"I am!"

"No, you're not! You keep making excuses for yourself. Did you even practice this move?"

"You know what? Stop picking on me!" snapped Mercedes. "You're always singling me out, telling me that I'm doing everything wrong—"

"That's crazy!"

"No, you're crazy! How come you're always telling me I'm doing something wrong? What about Finn? He didn't even do the catwalk right but I'm the one getting yelled at. Oh but I know why: it's because he's Rachel's boyfriend and we all know Rachel's your favorite and you give that skinny ass Geranimals wearing ass kisser everything!"

"Mercedes, you know that doesn't happen," began Rachel but Mercedes whirled on her.

"Yes it does and you know it!" Mercedes turned to the group. "When was the last time any of us got a solo in competition without Rachel Berry taking the lead? Exactly. Because every time one of us tries to shine brighter than her, Mr. Shue ends up giving her the solo because she always throws a hissy fit."

"Mercedes, you know that's not true," said Quinn. "Santana and I had solos at Sectionals last year."

"Yeah but what happened at Nationals? Who got a solo in both of our songs that we all wrote together?"

Everyone looked uncomfortably at Rachel, who attempted to defend herself. "Mercedes, you know Glee club isn't about how many solos each person gets—"

"Of course, you'd say that, you get all the solos!" laughed Mercedes.

"Mercedes, that's enough!" commanded Mr. Shue. "You know, if you're so unhappy with the way this show choir is run, maybe you should just leave."

"So you're kicking me out?" said Mercedes, as she looked into his eyes angrily. "That's it? I was one of the original members and now it's all over?"

At this moment, Mercedes felt like Effie White in the musical _Dreamgirls _when Effie got kicked out of the Dreams. In her fantasy, everyone was dressed in the sparkly blue outfits the Dreams were wearing in the movie while she was in Jennifer Hudson's brown suit with the fur collar trim.

Mercedes glared at Mr. Shue.

_I turn my back and find myself out on the line, _she sang. _You could have warned me but that would have been too kind._

_I've been warning you months to clean up your act, _shot back Mr. Shue. _You've been late, you've been mean, giving all kinds of stupid flack._

_That's a lie! _shouted Mercedes. _That's a lie! It's just that I haven't been feeling that well._

_Effie, please! Stop excusing yourself, _said Finn. _You've been late, you've been mean, and getting fatter all the time._

_Now you're lying, you're lying. I've never been so thin, _insisted Mercedes. _You're lying, you're lying 'cause you're knocking off that piece of thing who thinks she's better than everybody. She ain't better than anybody. She ain't nothing but common._

_Who you calling common, you self-indulgent, self-absorbed non-professional? _demanded Rachel.

_YOU! _shouted Mercedes. _YOU! I'm calling you. You common piece that's knocking off._

_Now you listen to me Ms. Blame-it-on-the-world, see I have put up with you for much too long, _said Rachel. _I have put with your bitching, I put up with your nagging, and all your screaming too!_

Now Kurt intervened between the two of them. _Oh when are you two gonna stop this fighting? _he wailed. _Stay out this Kurt, this is between Rachel and me, _said Mercedes as she tried to shove Rachel.

_Yeah? Well it's between me too, _cried Kurt as he made Mercedes face him _I am much as part of this group as anybody else and I'm tired! Effie, I'm tired—of all the trouble you been making us._

_I always knew you two were together! _

_What? _he cried.

_I always knew you two were ganging up on me!_

_He had nothing to do with this change, it was you, _said Mr. Shue. _It was you, always thinking of you. Always thinking of you._

Puck took this opportunity to take Mercedes aside. _Lay off, Effie, _he told her. _Just take the money and run._

_You in this with them, Puck?_

_Cool it Effie! This time you know what you've done!_

_So they got your behind too, huh?_

_I said, Cool it Effie! This time you've gone too far!_

_I can go further, I can go further! _shouted Mercedes. Mike stepped forward and sang, _I don't want to stay around this. I'm just breaking into this business. This is between all of you. This is none of my affair._

Mercedes clutched her stomach and bent over. _I'm not feeling well, I've got pain._

_Effie, we've all got pain! _responded the group.

_Oh for two years I stuck with you, I was your sister!_

_You were a trouble, _they said, not looking at her.

_And now you're telling me it's all over? _sobbed Mercedes.

_It's all over. It's all over, _they sang.

"Mercedes?"

Mercedes was shaken out of her fantasy by Mr. Shue. She picked up her backpack where she left it and walked out, saying, "It's all over."

* * *

After Booty Camp let out, the Glee club went their separate ways throughout the deserted school.

"See you tomorrow, Mike," said Puck as he and Lauren went towards the student parking lot. Mike went down the hallway alone to his locker where he began to put away his dance clothes and change his shoes before he went back home.

"Mike?" said a voice. Mike looked up and saw his mother standing a few feet away. In her perfectly styled black hair and tailored Ann Taylor suit, she looked like an imposing woman who would only back up his father in any argument. He swallowed nervously.

"What are you doing here, Mom?" he asked.

"I went to go pick you up from your tutoring session but the teacher said you weren't there," said Mrs. Julia Chang. She stepped closer to her son. "In fact, he said you haven't shown up all week. Michael, what is going on? What have you been doing?"

"Honestly? I've been at Glee club practice, teaching everyone how to dance. I love dancing and I kinda like singing too. I don't want to quit Glee club. And I want to do the musical. And everyone thinks I'm going to get the part so I really do want to do it. I know you and Dad don't think dancing is a good way to make a living but it's what I really want to do."

"Mike, you know your father and I want what's best for you. That's why we push so you hard—"

"Well maybe I don't like being pushed all the time! Dancing is what I care about."

"Mike, you know that your chances—anyone's chances—of being a professional dancer are one in a million," said Julia, trying to be reasonable.

"Just believe in me and I will show you that I am that one in a million. Everyone one else thinks I can do it, Mom but I just want to hear it from you."

Julia sighed and hugged her son. "If you became a dancer, Mike, I hope you realize that it's a very unstable field so when you go to college, I want you to get a second major or a minor in something that you can always fall back on."

"Okay," said Mike hurriedly as she let go of him. Did this mean that she was on his side?

"And as for the musical…." Julia paused. "When I was in high school, I wanted to try out for my school's musical, _Cinderella, _but of course your grandfather wouldn't let me. I always regretted not even just auditioning just to see what it was like. I'm not happy that you lied to us and that you disobeyed your father but if you really want to do the musical, I'll try to talk your father into it but you need to get the grade back up in Chemistry first."

Mike laughed in relief and hugged his mom again. "It's a deal."

* * *

Mercedes and Rachel both showed up to the Maria-off in dresses that were a nod to Natalie Wood's wardrobe in the film despite Mr. Hollomon's repeated insistence that he did not want to cast a Natalie Wood look-alike.

"Okay, let's flip a coin and see who will go when," said Artie as he wheeled nervously between the two contenders.

"Heads," said Rachel automatically.

"Tails," responded Mercedes.

Artie flipped the coin. It was heads. Rachel smirked as she offered the stage to Mercedes. "After you," she said. Mercedes gave her a fake smile in return and took center stage. "Hello, my name is Mercedes Jones and I will be singing _Somewhere._"

_There's a place for us_  
_Somewhere there is a place for us_  
_Peace and quiet and open air_  
_It waits for us somewhere_

_There is a time for us_  
_I know that there is a time for us_  
_Time together with just a little bit of time to spare_  
_The time to learn, oh, time to care_  
_Somewhere_  
_We'll find a new, a new way of living_  
_We'll find a way of forgiving_  
_Somewhere_

_There is, there is a place for us_  
_I know, I know, I know, I know, I know_  
_There is a place for us_

_Hold my hand and we're halfway there_  
_Hold on to my hand and I'll, I'll take you there_  
_Some day, some, somewhere_  
_I'll take you somewhere_

The directors clapped wildly for Mercedes as she took a bow. In the wings, Rachel began to panic. _She's better than me_, she realized.

* * *

Emma let herself into the apartment and Will came to greet her. "Hey, why were you so late?" he asked as he kissed her cheek.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I had to go return some things at the mall and the line took forever."

"You didn't eat anything, did you?"

Emma shook her head. "Did you make dinner? Because that would be fantastic."

"I did but we were waiting for you before we ate."

"We?"

Will led Emma into the dining room where her parents were waiting. "Emmy!" cried Rose Pillsbury as she gave her daughter a hug. "How are you?" asked Rust Pillsbury. "We haven't heard from you in awhile and then you call and tell us you got a new boyfriend."

"Yes, um, well," stammered Emma.

"Well, Emma's here so now we can eat," said Will as he guided Emma next to him.

"We were sad to hear about Emma's divorce," said Rose as she served herself some fresh garden salad. "But then again, how long did you really know Carl, Emma?"

"About six months," muttered Emma as she stared at her plate. "And he got an annulment, Mom. Not a divorce."

"Well that's good," said Rose blithely. "Now you can pretend it never happened. And besides, Will seems much nicer than Carl."

"We never met him," reminded Rusty.

"Oh yes, that's right. So anyway, how did you and Emma meet, Will?" asked Rose.

"Oh, Emma and I both work at McKinley. I teach Spanish there."

"Oooh, _que bueno_," said Rose approvingly. "I always say it's good to learn a foreign language."

"So what do you do in your spare time, Will?" asked Rusty. "You follow football?"

"Uh, no. I'm not much of fan. But some of the kids that I coach in the Glee club play football. One of them, Finn Hudson, is hoping to play for Ohio State."

"Ohio State is pretty good," said Rusty. "Hope he can make the cut. There's a lot of kids all over state who would kill to be on that team. I know this one kid-"

"It's so nice to see Emma dating again," interrupted Rose. "Having a divorce is such a baggage. I have this one friend, who got recently divorced and she said it was so hard to meet new people."

"I don't think that's the case," said Will. "I'm divorced and I didn't have any trouble meeting new people."

Rose put her fork down. "You're divorced too?"

"Yeah, for about a year now."

"And you and Emma are living together now? So soon?"

"Well, Emma and I have dated in the past so it's not like this is a huge deal-"

"Wait a minute, you've dated before?" piped up Rusty. He and Rose exchanged looks. Will sensed that there was a shift in the atmosphere and hastily began to explain.

"Well, before my divorce was finalized we kind of had this thing going but I thought we should take a break and wait until it was over-"

"So you dated while you were still married?" clarified Rose.

"Well, by then my wife and I were kind of separated-"

"How long were you married?"

"Dad!" said Emma sharply.

"It's okay, Emma," said Will. "Uh, Terri and I were high school and college sweethearts so we were together for about twelve years but married for five of them."

"And I suppose know you're going to ask why he got divorced," snapped Emma as her father opened his mouth.

"And what's wrong with that?" retorted Rose. "Emma, no offense but you have been making very bad decisions with your love life. You almost got married to Ken Tanaka even though you told me you didn't love him, you've been dating a married man, and you got married in Vegas to a man you've known less than a year."

"You know I will admit that I have made some poor decisions," conceded Emma. "I'm happy now with Will. He's the one who pushed me to go seek therapy for my problem and you know, I think that I am a much better person now because of it. And if you don't approve, well then I don't care. And if you're going to keep criticizing my boyfriend, you can leave."

"Fine," said Rusty as he threw his napkin down on the chair. "Wait, you don't have to go," said Will as he tried to rectify the situation but Rusty and Rose were already out the door.

"No, let them leave," sighed Emma as she started to clear the table. "This is why I didn't want them to come. I knew they wouldn't approve."

"Well, they sort of liked me before," pointed out Will. Emma set down her dishes and gave him a kiss. "Don't worry about them. The only person you have to worry about liking you is me."

* * *

"Hi, Rachel," greeted Kurt. Rachel smiled nervously at him as she took out the books from her locker. "Hi," she said back. Kurt's smile grew and that made Rachel even more apprehensive.

"So, guess who I had an interesting talk with today?"

"W-who?"

"Principal Figgins. He gave the go-ahead for the PFLAG chapter. We're having our first meeting next week."

"That's great."

"Yeah, it is. It's something I can put on my resume and you know, it's a huge part of my platform. I'd ask you to help but I think that'd be a conflict of interest seeing as how you are also running for senior class president!"

Kurt glared at Rachel as she fidgeted with her sweater.

"How could you do that?" he whispered. "Why would you do that? You could have run for secretary or for treasurer—" Kurt threw his hands in the air, perplexed. "Why would you run for class president against me?"

"No, you don't understand," pleaded Rachel. "Mercedes and I had our callback and she was so good, Kurt. And the director doesn't like me and there's no way I was going to get the lead so I needed something big on my resume too."

Kurt shook his head. "I can't believe how selfish you're being. I want to make a difference here with PFLAG and everything. I thought you were supporting me. I thought we were friends."

"We are!" insisted Rachel.

"Friends don't do this type of thing to each other. Good luck on your campaign, Rachel."

Kurt walked away. "Kurt!" Rachel called but he never looked back. The bell rang, indicating that was time for class.

* * *

After school, Mercedes and Rachel were summoned to Mr. Hollomon's office.

"Normally, you'd find out the results on the cast list but I wanted to tell you two that I have decided to double cast Maria," Mr. Hollomon told them.

"WHAT?" cried Rachel and Mercedes in unison.

"Were there any other roles that were double cast?" asked Mercedes.

"Truthfully no," said Mr. Hollomon. "But it's like we've been saying: we could not decide between the two of you. I've decided to extend the performance run so you both have equal number of two shows each. And to make it fair, we'll flip a coin to see who gets opening night. Do you accept?"

Mercedes and Rachel exchanged glances. "Yes, thank you," said Rachel. She gave an aside glance to Mercedes who was refusing to look at her. "And we don't have to do a coin toss. Mercedes can have opening night."

Mercedes looked at her and smiled. "Thank you," she said as she looked at Rachel. "I'm gonna hug you now, okay?" said Rachel and she held tightly to Mercedes who didn't push her away.

* * *

Finn sighed as he looked at a wall of campaign posters for various offices and various classes. But the only two stuck out to him: Kurt and Rachel's.

"Hey, Finn," said Rachel as she approached him. He turned around to see his girlfriend. "Hey, do you know if you got it yet?" he asked. Rachel nodded. "Sort of. Mercedes and I got double cast as Maria."

"Is that good?"

"I can still put it on my resume but...this whole week, I've realized how selfish I've been. Mercedes is right, I do hog the spotlight too much, don't bother denying it."

"I wasn't going to," said Finn. Rachel smiled.

"Anyway, I've realized that I'm putting my goals ahead of my friendships and while yes, that attitude will land me a Tony before I'm thirty, I don't want to get on that stage and not have anyone to celebrate with."

"What are you saying?" asked Finn, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm saying that—"

"Oh, hello Rachel," sneered Kurt as he approached the two. He turned to Finn. "Finn, would you kindly mind waiting just ten more minutes before we go home? They're posting the cast list today."

"Kurt, I wanted to talk to you," said Rachel timidly.

"Yes, I know. I've been ignoring your texts all day," sniffed Kurt. Rachel sighed.

"Look, I've realized that I was being selfish and I hope you can forgive me. I've decided to run for vice president and I was wondering if you'd like to, you know, combine forces and run together?"

Kurt smiled faintly. "May I ask what prompted this sudden change of heart?"

"It was Mercedes," said Rachel. "She left because she thought we—I was pushing her aside and not recognizing her talent. I know I'd do the same thing if that happened to me. And two years ago, I had no friends because I was so obnoxious and always storming out of rehearsals because I wanted to be the star all the time. And I was so lonely, even though I tried to hide it. It's senior year. I don't want to end it not being friends with you or Mercedes or anybody. So that's why I did it."

Kurt hugged her. "I'm glad you did. I know we can make a McKinley a better place for everyone together."

"I'm just happy you two aren't fighting anymore," laughed Finn. "Because I didn't know who I was going to vote for."

"Come on," said Kurt. "Let's go see the cast list."

The three of them went to go see the cast list posted outside the theater and they weren't the only ones. Nearly all of the Glee club was there as well as some of the other drama club students. The glee club searched for their names on the list:

_Maria…Mercedes Jones/Rachel Berry_

_Tony...Blaine Anderson_

_Bernardo…Noah Puckerman_

_Anita…Santana Lopez_

_Riff…Mike Chang_

_Graziella…Brittany Pierce_

_Velma…Quinn Fabray_

_Anybodys...Kurt Hummel_

_Snowboy…Rory Flanagan_

_Consuela…Tina Cohen-Chang_

The only person who wasn't there was Mercedes and that's because she was timidly entering Shelby's office.

"Ms. Corcoran?" said Mercedes. "I understand that you've started up another show choir. I would like to audition."

"Mercedes, I thought you were in New Directions?" said Shelby, confused.

"I was but I just got the role of Maria in the school musical and I think I can do a lot better than just wailing at the end of every song. I'm a star. And I think it's time to show everybody what I can do."


End file.
